A Mother for Cindy Read online

“Mom, Cindy and I have set the tables. Anything else you want us to do?”

  Jesse began mixing some more scrambled eggs for the second skillet. “Can you two put the pitchers of orange juice out on each table?”

  The beep of the microwave sounded and Nick went to work removing the paper plate and sticking another one inside. “How many people are coming for breakfast?”

  “About twenty. If we get too many it becomes confusing when we’re trying to put everything together later. A few parishioners will stop by this afternoon, but most of the work is done by the committee.” Jesse stirred the eggs in the first skillet. “Beth is the organizer of this event every year and it always goes like clockwork. She’s very good at organizing.”

  Nick glanced at the woman taking a batch of biscuits out of the oven. “She does a lot around here.”

  “I don’t know what we would do without her. She’s quite remarkable.”

  “I could use someone like her at my company.”

  A seed of jealousy took hold and surprised Jesse. Not but a few weeks before, she had been trying to fix Nick up with Beth and now she didn’t want—She had no right to be jealous. Nick deserved someone to love him unconditionally. She’d had that once in her life and knew how important that was. She suspected Nick hadn’t.

  Jesse untied her white apron and hung it up on a hook by the door. “The last pan of biscuits is in the oven. They should come out in about fifteen minutes. I’m going to greet everyone as they arrive and have them start eating. We have a lot to do today.”

  Nate rushed into the kitchen with Cindy right behind him. “Can we eat now? I’m starved.”

  “Me, too.”

  “Sure. Save us a seat. We’ll be through in a few minutes.”

  The microwave beeped again and Nick handled it as though he cooked all the time. “This is much easier than frying bacon in a pan.”

  “Not as messy, either. Next I have to teach you something more complicated.”

  “And threaten Boswell? I can’t do that to the man.”

  “I don’t think anyone can threaten Boswell. Have you seen Gramps and Boswell when they run into each other out in the yard?”

  “They’re like rams squaring off.”

  “And Susan has gone into hiding, which is so unusual for her.”

  “Can you blame her? Both of them walk by her house several times a day. I’ve never seen Boswell like this.”

  “I’ve never seen Gramps like this, either.” Jesse removed the first skillet of scrambled eggs then the second one. She ladled the contents on a large platter.

  Zoey breezed by and whisked the platter from her hand to take to the first round table in the rec hall. Jesse made some more for the second table which would be filling up quickly as people arrived.

  Fifteen minutes later Jesse and Nick sat down at the third table with Cindy, Nate, Zoey, Beth, Darcy, Joshua and Reverend Collins. Jesse took Nick’s and Nate’s hands, then bowed her head as the reverend said the blessing. She noticed Nick followed suit after a few seconds of hesitation. Cindy’s amen sounded above all the others and brought Nick’s head up, a surprised expression on his face.

  Jesse began passing the platters around. As she spooned some scrambled eggs onto her plate, she glanced across the table and saw Darcy pass up most of the food, which was unusual for her friend. Darcy’s features were pasty.

  “Are you all right, Darcy?” Jesse asked while pouring some orange juice into her glass.

  Her friend peered at Joshua for a long moment, then said, “My stomach’s upset. That’s why I was late.”

  “If you aren’t feeling well, you should go home. We can do it without you.” Beth drowned her two biscuits in white gravy.

  “I’ll be fine in a while.” Darcy took a deep breath. “I have an announcement. I’m pregnant and have a touch of morning sickness that usually goes away about ten. Then I’ll be ravenous.”

  “That’s great news! Congratulations, you two.” Jesse lifted her orange juice glass. “Here’s to the happy, soon-to-be parents.”

  “I’ve got months and months to go. I’m not due until February.”

  “This is wonderful. I’ll get to plan a baby shower,” Zoey said, breaking her bacon into pieces to mix with her eggs. “And I have lots of baby clothes you can use if you have a little girl. Tara is growing so fast she hasn’t used half of what she has.”

  The heavy thickness in Zoey’s voice caused the people at the table to grow quiet. Jesse’s own throat constricted. Her childhood friend had recently returned to Sweetwater, a widow with three children, one born after her husband disappeared, now presumed dead by the government agency he worked for. At least she had known when Mark had died. She had been able to have some closure at the funeral, but Zoey hadn’t.

  “Mom, can I have some orange juice?” Nate’s voice broke into the silence.

  Someone at one of the other tables laughed. Another person said something about children having bottomless pits when it came to food. Relief flowed around the group. Zoey blinked back tears and smiled, her eyes shimmering.

  “This is the reason I came back to Sweetwater. It’s nice coming home to people who care.” Zoey brushed a lone tear from her cheek and picked up her fork to eat her eggs.

  Nick leaned close to Jesse and whispered, “I’m beginning to see why you said you take care of your own. I heard about her husband’s plane going down in the Amazon. It must be hard not knowing one hundred percent if he’s dead or alive. But she seems to be doing okay because of you all.” He indicated the people at the table.

  “Remember Darcy mentioning us meeting on Saturdays when we were at Harry’s Café? We started the group of ladies because of Tanya and Zoey. They need our support.”

  “That was the meeting you had last week?”

  She nodded. “We solved the problems of the world.”

  How different would his life had been if he had grown up in a town where the people cared what happened to their neighbors? Nick wondered, taking in each adult sitting at the table. They had been friends a long time, had grown up together. He didn’t have that. Work had consumed him and that had left little to no time to form friendships. He hadn’t even done a good job with his marriage. He and his wife had been strangers living in the same house. Even his relationship with his daughter was much like that. But he was doing something to change that. He would be the kind of father Cindy deserved.

  “Who’s cleaning up?” Nick asked when he finished the last of his breakfast.

  “Everyone.” Jesse rose with her plate and utensils.

  Nick looked up at her. “Won’t that be a bit crowded in the kitchen?”

  “Some will clear and throw away the paper plates and cups, plastic utensils, some will wash and put the dishes in the dishwasher and some will stack the chairs and fold up the tables. Shouldn’t take too long.”

  If he hadn’t seen it himself, he would have doubted it could be done so quickly and efficiently. No one barked orders or told anyone what to do. People did what had to be done and the rec hall and kitchen were cleaned up in fifteen minutes. Again he felt as though these people worked as a well-coordinated group who had been together a long time and knew each other well. Jesse made sure he was included, but he still felt as though he were that little boy looking through the toy store window at the electric train set that never appeared under his Christmas tree.

  After cleanup, the workers began filing into the sanctuary for the short service. Nick hung back to the last, hesitant to go inside. He didn’t belong. The strong urge to escape descended, but his feet wouldn’t move toward the outside doors. Sweat broke out on his upper lip. Two sets of doors called to him—one offered the escape in his head he knew he should take, the other offered a place in a town that cared. Torn with indecision, he rubbed his hand across his mouth.

  Nick took a step toward the double glass doors that led to the outside. Then another. He stopped and glanced back at the doors that led into the sanctuary. Jesse stood in the entrance i
nto the sanctuary, waiting for him. Her face shone with a radiance and calm acceptance of whatever he chose for himself. She didn’t say a word.

  You don’t belong in there.

  God has forsaken you.

  There is nothing you can give to these people but money.

  Doubt after doubt inundated him. His gaze riveted to Jesse’s. She smiled and held out her hand to him.

  What if I gave God a second chance? What if He gave me a second chance?

  His heartbeat accelerated. He spun on his heel and covered the distance between them. Taking her hand, he squeezed it, the beat of his heart continuing to pound against his chest.

  “Are you all right?”

  The concern in Jesse’s voice and expression touched him, thawing the ice his emotions were encased in—had been for a long time. Why couldn’t he have met her years ago—before Brenda, before life had happened? Now it was too late. “I’m fine. I’m a survivor, Jesse, so nothing gets me down for long.”

  “That’s good. I thought for a minute you were leaving.”

  He peered into the sanctuary and noticed Reverend Collins was about to start the service, but he wanted to ask Jesse something before he lost his nerve. “How do you do it?”

  “Do what?”

  “Know what a person needs and supply it.”

  “I’m not sure there’s a big secret involved. We pray a lot. We just know usually what needs to be done.”

  “Are you telling me God tells you?”

  “Yes, our faith in the Lord is part of it. We’re attuned to each other’s needs.”

  “So when someone’s hurting, you’re there for him, helping him pick up the pieces.”

  “I hope so. That’s what friends do for each other.”

  Not from his experience, he thought, the emptiness in him growing, consuming him, refreezing the wall around his heart.

  Despairing, he moved into the sanctuary, his fingers linked with Jesse’s. That connection made him feel human, almost a part of the town, the church. He grasped on to the bond she offered, and even as they slid into a pew, he didn’t release her hand. For a short time he could pretend he belonged.

  He finally let go when Reverend Collins said a prayer, asking God to watch over each person before him, to forgive their sins, and to guide them in the ways of Christ. Nick listened to the words and wondered if it was possible for God to forgive his sins—especially the one of turning away from Him, of denying His power.

  * * *

  “Cindy, you can place your doll next to mine.” Jesse gestured toward the center table set up for items to be auctioned off the next day.

  The child laid the baby girl down next to Jesse’s, her hand lingering on its brown curly hair. “Can I bid on an item?”

  “Sure you can.”

  “Can I bid on the item I gave?”

  Jesse knelt down and clasped Cindy’s arms, turning the little girl to look at her. “Just because you donated it, doesn’t mean you can’t bid on it. How much money do you have saved?”

  Cindy tilted her head and tapped her finger against her chin. “I think I’ve got twelve dollars after giving Daddy some money for Crystal’s wheelchair.” She paused, thought about it and said, “No, I have ten dollars and fifty cents. I bought an ice-cream cone the other day.”

  “Do you want to give the baby to the auction? It’s your decision because you made it.”

  Frowning, Cindy continued to tap her finger against her chin, taking another moment to think. “I want to give it to the auction. I want to help feed the hungry children.”

  Her throat tight, Jesse swallowed hard. “Then we will keep the baby in.”

  Cindy ran her hand over Jesse’s doll, a Victorian lady dressed in white lace, black buttoned-up boots, a hat with feathers and a parasol. “I like your doll, too. Do I have enough money for both of them?”

  Remembering how much her doll always went for, Jesse smiled and said, “Don’t worry. You concentrate on bidding for your doll.” She had just decided what she could get Cindy for her birthday.

  “Cindy, come on. I need help putting up the streamers.” Standing in the doorway to the rec hall, Nate motioned for Cindy.

  The little girl whirled around and rushed toward Nate, her pigtails bouncing as she ran. Jesse watched the two children disappear, remembering the sweet gesture Cindy had made. She wanted more children, Jesse thought, sliding her eyes closed, taking a deep, composing breath that still left her chest constricted.

  “She certainly is an adorable child.”

  Jesse gasped, her eyes snapping open. “Beth Coleman, you aren’t allowed to sneak up on someone. I think my heart stopped beating.”

  Beth laughed. “Then quit daydreaming when you should be working.”

  “You are a hard taskmaster.”

  “I’ve raised three siblings. I’ve had great experience.”

  “Isn’t next semester Daniel’s last one?”

  Beth’s face brightened. “Yes, and then I can do what I want.”

  “Which is?”

  “To travel. See the world.”

  “You’re really thinking of leaving Sweetwater?”

  “Not permanently but I do want to see what’s out there.” She leaned close to Jesse. “That’s why I wasn’t interested in your little matchmaking attempt with your neighbor.”

  Zoey joined them. “Matchmaking? Jesse? Mom used to write me about your little dinner parties. When I came back, she warned me never to accept an invitation unless I was looking for a man.”

  Jesse clasped her chest. “I’m shocked. I have friends over for dinner. That is all.”

  “Where do you want this, Beth?” Joshua asked, carrying a long table with the help of Clint.

  “Right next to this one.” Beth pointed to the end of the row of tables. “Hey, Clint, didn’t I hear that you had to rescue Tara from one of Jesse’s dinner parties?”

  Clint set the table on the floor, then approached them, sweat beading his brow. “Sure did. If I hadn’t, my woman could have been dating Nick Blackburn as we speak.” Clint waved his hand toward Jesse. “At least that was her plan.”

  “Clint, my scheme knocked some sense into you.” Jesse planted her hands on her hips. “It took my neighbor’s interest to spur you into doing what you wanted to do all along.”

  The man’s face blanched. He wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. Jesse started to kid him about being married when she noticed that several others in the group were looking beyond her shoulder, their expressions troubled. She peered back and found Nick standing a few feet to her left. She gulped and sent up a silent prayer for help. The angry look on Nick’s face stole her breath, her thoughts.

  Slowly she turned toward him while everyone fled to the four corners, leaving her alone with the man. “How much did you hear?”

  “Enough.”

  “It isn’t what it seems.”

  “And what does it seem?”

  The lethal quiet in his voice should have warned her to run while she had the chance. Instead, she stood her ground and said, “That I set—that I used you—” There was no way to explain what she had done except straight out. “I tried to fix you up with various women in town because I thought Cindy needed a mother.” She didn’t breathe until she finished the last word, then she took in such a deep one that her head swam. She grasped the table’s edge to steady herself.

  “So when you were dragging me around town introducing me to all these women, you were really trying to fix me up?”

  She nodded, not daring to say another word. The fury in his eyes cut through her.

  “Even after I told you I didn’t want to get married?”

  Another nod.

  He took a step toward her. “Why?”

  She hadn’t thought his voice could get any quieter and she’d still hear him, but it did. And it still held a deadly edge to it. She shuddered. “Because Cindy wants a mother.” And because you’re dangerous to my peace of mind.

  “I do
n’t have a say in it? You didn’t bother to make sure it was something I wanted? What makes you think you know what is best for me and Cindy?” He snapped his fingers. “Ah, I know the answer to that. It’s that ability you have of knowing what a person needs before he even knows it.”

  Sarcasm drenched his words and stung Jesse. She noticed they were the only ones in the rec room. She backed up against the table, wanting to escape as all the others had. “I only wanted to help.”

  “Did I ask you for your help?”

  She shook her head, the thundering of her heartbeat a roar in her ears.

  He thrust his face to within inches of hers. “I will not be controlled. I lived in a marriage where my wife tried to control my every move with her behavior. I will not be trapped into a marriage to someone who wants to mold me into someone I’m not.”

  Trapped between the table and Nick, Jesse had nowhere to go. She could smell the minty flavor of his toothpaste, the lime scent of his aftershave. She could see every harsh line on his face, the hard gleam in his gaze directed totally at her.

  “I was wrong. I knew that after Beth, and I stopped. I’m sorry.”

  He stepped back, giving her some breathing room. Her apology seemed to take the steam out his anger—at least she thought so until he pivoted and headed for the door, saying, “I’ve got to get out of here.”

  The rigid way he held his body spoke volumes. He was still furious at her, and she didn’t think he would listen to a second apology. She’d never fixed anyone up without his knowledge so why had she with Nick? Because he stirred feelings in her that she thought had died with Mark. She had acted out of desperation to protect her heart. She couldn’t risk getting hurt again so she tried to make him unavailable. The only thing was, he was unavailable…but for a different reason.

  * * *

  The auctioneer held up Jesse’s doll to get the bidding started. She chewed on her thumbnail, every muscle taut with stress. The day had started out a disaster and gone downhill from there. She usually had a great time at the Fourth of July celebration, but Nick kept his distance. Cindy sensed the tension between them and asked a zillion questions which she didn’t have an answer for.