Shelter of Hope (New Beginnings Book 8) Page 13

  He opened his mouth to refute her statement, but the words wouldn’t come out. Because she was right. “You have me figured out?”

  “Some, but you hold so much back. I figure that part of it is because you were constantly moving as a child. I can’t even imagine what that would be like. I derive so much from Hope and its people. But I also think there’s more behind it. Has it ever bothered you that you don’t have the time to really get to know people?”

  “I’ve learned to accept it. Every job has trade-offs. Mine is that I travel and live in different places for a short amount of time.”

  “No regrets?”

  Again, he couldn’t tell her no. “I met a woman—Beth—in my second assignment with the organization. I loved her, and I thought she loved me. We’d talked a little about marrying, but when it was time for me to leave, she didn’t want to go yet. We decided to try a long-distance relationship. I flew to see her. She flew to see me. But it wasn’t long before there was more and more time between our visits. The phone calls and texts weren’t enough. She met another man and broke it off with me.”

  “And you still love her?”

  “No, but I realized that a lot of women wouldn’t make the commitment I did and that I couldn’t ask them to give up their life to follow me.”

  “So, it’s easier just not to get involved in the first place?”

  He looked her straight in her eye and said, “Yes. Why invite getting hurt?”

  “That’s a pretty lonely life.”

  “I always have a lot of people in my life. They may change every so often, but I’m not a loner.”

  “You aren’t? You can be alone in the middle of a crowd. It’s the way you approach life and others.”

  Alone in the middle of a crowd. He’d felt that way many times and had merely shaken it off. Lately that had become harder to do. Was that why he wanted Hannah to leave with him? Because with his sister he wouldn’t be so alone? Why did he need more now? He rose and held out his hand. “I’ll take your trash. I’m grabbing a brownie. Do you want one?”

  “Yes.” She balled her paper napkin and aluminum foil together and handed it to him.

  Part of him didn’t want to return to Maggie. She was challenging the way he lived. The fact that her questions had made him uncomfortable concerned him. After Beth, he’d never had trouble until he’d come to Hope. Somewhere along the way, he’d opened the door to Maggie, and she was now demanding total entry.

  When he sat back down under the magnolia tree and gave her a brownie, he asked, “Since I’ve answered your questions, I have some for you. It’s obvious we look at life differently. Why are you afraid to take a risk?”

  “I take risks. Granted I haven’t gone skydiving or climbing Mount Everest, but I’m not afraid to do something risky.”

  “Are you sure about that? I’m not talking physically but emotionally. You’ve never considered leaving Hope and starting over somewhere else, have you?”

  “No. Why would I? I’m happy here.”

  “Have you had any serious relationships since your fiancé was killed?”

  Her gaze slanted toward the branches above her, her mouth twisting. “I’ve dated.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Define seriously.”

  “Fallen in love, gone out with the same person for months.”

  She lowered her eyes and played with tearing off bits of the brownie then popping them into her mouth. “No.”

  He hesitated for a moment, then asked what he’d wondered for the past month. “So, you’re still in love with your deceased fiancé?”

  Her head snapped up. “No. I’ll always care about him, but he chose to re-up. I didn’t want him to, but he did. I know he never thought he’d go overseas so quickly or be put into a dangerous situation where he would be killed. It was peacetime. I still remember the utter shock for months afterward and then again when Brady was born.”

  “If you don’t love him, then why didn’t you find someone else? It’s been over thirteen years. Any man would be lucky to have you as a wife.”

  “Because it hurt. You know when a person gets burned, they stay away from the fire.”

  “Exactly. You and I aren’t that different.”

  “Two wounded souls coping the best way we can?”

  He nodded.

  Silence descended between them. A heaviness in his chest pressed on his lungs, making each breath difficult. Hannah was about all that was important in his life. He’d lost everyone else—his mother, father, Beth, even the opportunity to have good friends who would be there for him. What was he going to do if his sister stayed here and had her twins? Made Hope her home? Why was he suddenly panicked about that? She’d been living in Los Angeles, but she’d come to visit him from time to time. With two babies that wouldn’t be an easy option. Which left him coming here to see her.

  Tension held a grip on his shoulders. He rolled them, trying to ease the ache. It didn’t help.

  Maggie finished her brownie while his lay untouched in his palm. “Are you going to eat that?”

  “I’m fuller than I thought. Want it?”

  “I never let good chocolate go to waste.” She plucked it from his hand and bit into it. “Where do you need me to help?”

  “The outside is finished so we’re moving inside. You can help me hang drywall.”

  “You know how?”

  “I got a quick lesson from Zane this morning plus he’ll be in the same room.”

  “Ahh, a safety net.”

  “Hannah is the handyman—woman—in the Weston family.” He panned the churchyard and glimpsed his sister talking with Brady and patting Sadie. “She has a soft spot for animals like Brady, but like me she’s never had much of an opportunity to have a pet. Aaron didn’t like animals. Wouldn’t let her have any around.”

  “That’s a red flag to me.”

  “But when you’re young and in love, you don’t want to hear that.”

  “Sometimes you have to find out the hard way.”

  “That’s life.” He rose and offered her his hand, then tugged her up.

  * * *

  At the end of the day, hot and tired, Maggie left the new addition, the smell of sawdust, mud for the drywalls, and sweat underscoring the work the group had done that hot, August day. When Cody strolled outside, he made a beeline for his car. Popping the trunk, he hauled out large plastic water guns, filled and ready to go, and began passing them out to the teens.

  Immediately a war erupted, with kids running and shooting their toy weapons. Laughter echoed through the churchyard. Brady dove for cover behind a live oak tree while aiming at his friends hiding around him. Maggie jogged toward Cody, dodging a stream of water coming her way. But seconds later she got blasted by Brady.

  “Bull’s eye,” her son shouted.

  She used Cody’s car to block the next spray. “Have an extra one?”

  “I brought one for everybody with a few extras for the adults.” He handed her a bright pink plastic gun with a large canister to hold her ammo—water.

  “Good. I have a son to pay back.”

  The next fifteen minutes the battle raged. Everyone ended up drenched, especially the adults when some of the youth group teamed up to go after them. Water dripping from her, Maggie shoved her wet hair out of her eyes and lined up probably her last shot—right in Cody’s face. She noticed he’d run out of ammo. When she squeezed the trigger and a stream deluged him, he dropped his weapon, charged her and tackled her to the soft grass behind her. Somehow he managed to cushion her fall. He wrestled her gun away from her and jumped up, then got off a couple direct hits right in her face.

  She laughed, rolling away from the downpour. “You won. You won.”

  “I can’t believe you turned on your team.”

  “I thought it was every man for himself at the end.” She scrambled to her feet as the gun in his hand finally dripped its last drop of water.

  “Remind me not to be on your team until you underst
and the concept of what a team is,” he said, but a twinkle lit his eyes.

  “Oh, I do. I just couldn’t resist that last shot. The surprise was priceless.” She looked around the churchyard.

  Everyone’s ammo was depleted. Everyone was soaking wet. And everyone was smiling and chattering with each other. The perfect ending for a great day.

  “What made you think of a water gun fight?”

  “Have you ever been in a car with a bunch of sweaty guys? Since some are riding back with me, I thought this would make it less pungent in the car.”

  “Yeah, but now you’re gonna have a bunch of wet guys riding back with you.”

  “Leather seats. No problem.”

  “Ahh, then you won’t mind bringing Brady home. Cloth seats.”

  “What are you going to do? Drive standing up?”

  “I see Kim is going home with Zane. I’ll just borrow one of Zane’s plastic sheets to cover the front seat for Hannah and me. I’ll pick up Brady at your apartment.”

  After everyone dried off the best they could, Maggie climbed into her vehicle with Hannah slipping into the front passenger seat. Cody’s sister laid her head back against the cushion, her eyes closing.

  “Having fun is a lot of hard work. The kids did great.” Hannah released a long breath. “But I don’t think I have any energy left.”

  “Me, neither, but I’m so glad they had a good time, even Brady.”

  “He was trying to talk me into getting a dog from Nathan. He’s a mighty persuasive kid. I can’t right now. I don’t know where I’ll be or my circumstances with my babies, but the first time I can, I’ll see Nathan.”

  “I’ll let Brady know he was successful talking you into having a dog.” Maggie turned onto the highway that led back to Hope. “So, you don’t know yet if you are staying or going with Cody?”

  “Before, I would dive into a big decision without much thought. I’m not going to do that this time. I have more than myself to consider.” Hannah angled toward Maggie. “I called Aaron this morning to talk to him. I had to leave a message. I almost didn’t. I had prepared myself to talk with him, and when he wasn’t there, it threw me off.”

  “Then you’ve done what you can. It’s now up to him to call back.”

  “There’s a part of me that wants him to call back. And a part that doesn’t. What if he has finally decided to be a father to these babies?”

  “Isn’t that a good thing?”

  “Honestly, no. I’ve seen the type of father Zane and Gideon are. Aaron wouldn’t be what my babies need.”

  “Are you prepared to do it all alone? Be both mother and father?”

  “That’s what I have to decide. Cody will do what he can as their uncle, but if I stay and he leaves, that will only be occasionally. How did you do it?”

  “I had others to help me.”

  “What’s that saying—it takes a village to raise a child?”

  “So true.”

  The rest of the trip Hannah told Maggie about the hotel she was working on in Biloxi. It was half an hour later when Maggie pulled into the parking space in front of Cody’s apartment.

  “I think I’ll wait out here.” She pointed to her wet cutoffs and baggy T-shirt. “These might dry some more.”

  “C’mon in. Wait out on the balcony. I’ve gotten a hankering for some sweet tea. The first thing I have mastered making here in Hope.”

  “Watch out. You might turn into a Southern belle.”

  “Not me. I’m an electrician who is more comfortable around men than women. My mom died when I was young, so it was Cody and Dad who mostly raised me.”

  “My mother was around, but there was always a distance between us. I never seemed to live up to what she wanted as a daughter. In the end she turned away from me when I got pregnant.”

  Hannah stopped in the entrance into the kitchen. “She was around and didn’t help you?”

  “No. The only time she saw Brady was at family functions, and a few years after he was born, she and Dad moved to Sedona. I sometimes wonder if it was because she felt uncomfortable with Brady and me around.”

  “What about your dad? How did he feel?”

  “He basically went along with Mom’s wishes. I’ve heard from him occasionally through the years since they left Hope. More so since she died.”

  “Have you thought of going to see him?”

  “Yes, especially since the hurricane, but there is so much to do here. I don’t know when I could do it. And I’m not sure he would want to see me. We’ve never talked about that.”

  “Maybe you should.” Hannah’s eyes grew round. “I probably shouldn’t have said that. I’m beginning to sound like Cody. I’ve heard him say enough times that we have to face our problems and deal with them. They don’t go away. They hide and come back to bite us when we least expect them to.”

  “He says that? Does he take his own advice?”

  Hannah shrugged. “My big brother always seems in control, so I assume he does. Let me get us something to drink.”

  Maggie went out on the balcony while Hannah fixed them a glass of sweet tea. Sitting in a lawn chair, she could see the parking lot from between the slats in the black iron railing. She didn’t think Cody had taken his own advice, not after hearing about Beth today. She had glimpsed the hurt he’d experienced when that relationship had fallen apart. Just a glimmer as he’d talked about her, but it had been there.

  Maybe somehow she could help him with it. Someone needed to look out for the person who saw to everyone else’s problems.

  When Cody’s car stopped in the place next to hers, she started to rise to tell Hannah she wasn’t going to stay after all, but when Cody and Brady didn’t get out of the vehicle, she sat back down. Through the windshield, she saw her son face Cody, smiling and gesturing as if he was excited.

  * * *

  “I had a great time today. I can’t believe you brought water guns. I’ve heard some talk about paintball. That was kinda like playing that.” A grin spread across Brady’s mouth.

  “Not as painful. Those paint balls can hurt when they hit you.” Switching off his car, Cody relaxed back in the driver’s seat, a good kind of tired pervading his body. He needed to do more of those type of activities. In the past when he would attend a church in a disaster area, he’d never gotten that involved, other than worshipping.

  “You’ve played?”

  “Yes. In college my friends and I often did on Saturday afternoons. That’s when my admiration for our servicemen grew.”

  “My dad was in the army. He died on a mission.”

  “My father was in the service, too. For over twenty years.”

  “He was?”

  “I moved from base to base. Once or twice we barely unpacked and had to turn around and leave again.” Cody could remember getting rid of some of his personal items because it was a pain to pack them all the time.

  “I’d like to travel. One of my friends goes on a vacation every summer. I get jealous when he brings back tons of pictures of places I would like to see.”

  “You’ll have time.”

  “Yeah, when I grow up. Mom’s said that to me before. I don’t think she’ll ever leave here. New Orleans, Jackson and Mobile are about it for her.”

  A bark from Sadie, wedged between Cody and Brady, demanded their attention.

  “I haven’t forgotten about you, girl.” Brady scratched her behind her ears.

  “She sure has taken to you.”

  “Yeah, I understand her.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “I know what it’s like to have everything in your life disturbed, unsure. She needs to feel loved, that I’ll be here for her.”

  Turning toward the boy, Cody draped one arm over the steering wheel. “Everyone needs that.”

  “I know Mom loves me, but how do you not get scared when everything changes so quickly?”

  “That’s a good question. I try to keep my focus on the Lord. He’s my strength when I need some.
Sorta like Sadie turning to you. She’s finding you’re her strength.”

  “I am?”

  “Who does she come to all the time? You. You’re giving her the stability she needs after what she went through. Stability comes from within, Brady. It isn’t a house or a physical object. All that can be rebuilt like we did at the church today.”

  Brady stared out the windshield while petting his dog. “So, you’re never scared?”

  “I didn’t say that. I get scared just like you. That’s going to happen. It’s what happens after it that’s important. How you deal with the change, the fear.”

  “Have you ever been through a hurricane?”

  “No. But I have been in a tornado when my family lived in Oklahoma. We were living in what people called tornado alley. That spring there were two that struck near us.” One of them took his mother. “I know what fear is.” And deep sadness and guilt. His mother wouldn’t be dead if she hadn’t been coming after him.

  Brady lifted Sadie and nuzzled his face against her side. “I don’t want to go through another hurricane. We were holed up about an hour north of here, and it was bad there. Uncle Keith wouldn’t leave so Kim stayed while Mom took Anna and me to Hattiesburg. We didn’t sleep the whole night as the storm blew. Mom worried about Uncle Keith and Kim. She had a hard time keeping Anna calm. I had to act brave. But I wasn’t brave inside.”

  “And neither was I when the tornados came through my area.”

  “Is that why you try to help people after bad things happen?”

  “Yes. I know what they’re going through.” Cody didn’t like to relive that last tornado that took his mother, but each time he used that experience to help someone else the pain of his loss eased for a while. Then the guilt would return—every time he let thoughts of his mother into his mind.

  “I guess that’s your apartment up there.” Brady nodded toward the balcony where Maggie and Hannah, glasses in hand, peered down at the car.

  “Yep.”

  Brady pushed open the car door while carrying Sadie. “Wait till Mom hears I get to keep my water gun.”

  Cody chuckled. The moment of connecting with Brady was over, but they were taking small steps forward at least. “I’m not sure she’s going to be as thrilled as you are.”