Don t Look Back Read online

  “I have learned one thing from all of this. I’m not good husband material.” There, he had stated it out loud. His inability to open up even to Liz made that clear.

  “You’ve come to that conclusion based on one experience?”

  “I try to learn from my mistakes.” He forced a lightness into his voice that he didn’t feel. The emotional past half hour urged him to seek solitude before he spilled everything about himself to this woman before him.

  “It’s made you lonely, if you ask me.”

  He straightened. “There’s nothing wrong with relying only on yourself for your happiness.”

  “Is that what you’ve been doing? Are you happy yet?”

  The sting of her questions dented the armor around his emotions. “I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to call it an evening.”

  “Sure.”

  He ignored the disappointment he heard in her voice and said, “Maybe we can get together sometime this week and go over what we have concerning Scott’s murder.”

  “That’s fine.” She started for the path that led to the inn.

  He clasped her arm and swung her around. “The truth is, I’m tired. I don’t even know what to think anymore. Now you see why I’m not any good at relationships, even friendship.”

  Her eyes darkened. “You’ve made that very clear.” She pulled away. “I’m tired, too. I think it’s a good idea to leave.”

  He strode beside her through the inn to the parking lot out front. Her silence—one he didn’t know how to break—taunted him the whole way to her house.

  As he switched off his engine, she pushed her door open. “Thanks for this evening.”

  When he climbed from his car, she wheeled around a few feet across her lawn. “You don’t need to walk me to the door. It’s not like this was a date or anything.” Then, without waiting for his reply, she continued her hurried path to the porch.

  Sighing, he quickened his own pace and caught her before she unlocked her door. “I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you. I didn’t mean to.”

  The glare of the porch light revealed the shimmer in her eyes. “I know. You’ve made your position clear all along.”

  He’d hurt her, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. Lord, what do I do?

  A tear slipped down her face. The sight of it knocked the breath from him. He’d made her cry. Without thinking, he drew her to him, murmuring, “Please don’t. I’m sorry, Cassie.”

  She cuddled against him for a few seconds before pushing back and swiping her fingers across her cheeks. “I guess I’m not through crying after all.”

  He tried to smile but couldn’t.

  “You deserve to know how I feel about you. I see now that a friendship between us won’t be possible—”

  Her words punched him in the gut. “Why not?”

  “Because I want more from you than you are willing to give. Friendship isn’t enough for me. I know that now.”

  Her declaration left him speechless. He groped for the right thing to say, but nothing came to mind.

  “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your help this past month. Scott’s death was hard on Mom and me.”

  That brought him out of his daze. “What about Scott’s murder? Are you going to investigate it?”

  She peered away.

  “Cassie? Are you?”

  “Did you want justice for your wife?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “I want it for Scott. I want to reveal to the whole world what he was working on that got him killed.”

  “You’re not the police or, for that matter, an investigative reporter.”

  She turned toward her door with the key in the lock. “Good night, Jameson. I’ll see you at our last class.”

  The finality in her voice wrenched him. Before she escaped into her house, he halted her and swung her back toward him. “You will not investigate on your own. Promise me, Cassie.”

  She remained silent.

  “Cassie, I can’t be responsible for your safety if you go off half—”

  She pivoted away. “Hold it! First, you are not responsible for my safety. I am. Second, you can’t tell me what to do—”

  He yanked her to him and silenced her with a kiss. A kiss he had wanted all evening. His lips ground into hers for a few seconds as he held her stiff frame to him. Then suddenly she relaxed against him, her mouth softening beneath his. His arms went around her, holding her as close as possible to him. The fast beating of her heart matched his.

  He didn’t want to let her go. He didn’t want this to end. But he had to.

  When he finally parted, he said, “I’m sor—”

  Her fingers stopped the flow of his words. “Don’t tell me you are sorry for kissing me.”

  “I shouldn’t have. It doesn’t change anything.”

  Sadness invaded her eyes. “I know, and I promise you I won’t do anything stupid. Will that satisfy you?”

  “Yes.” No! he shouted silently. He wasn’t happy with the current situation, but he didn’t know what to do about it. “If you discover anything, you’ll let me know?”

  She nodded. “Will you do the same?”

  “Yes.” He took a step back and held out his hand. “We are partners in this.”

  “Fine.” She shook on it, then hurried into her house.

  The door closing amplified how alone he was in the world—the way he liked it. Then why didn’t he feel better?

  That question plagued him on the drive to his apartment. He couldn’t shake the dissatisfaction that gripped him. Even arriving home where he always felt a measure of comfort didn’t alleviate the uneasiness. He had handled the situation with Cassie all wrong.

  In his bedroom he went straight to his closet and found on the back shelf his family Bible. He’d put it away years ago. It was time to read the Lord’s word again. Tonight he realized he wanted to be able to give Cassie more. But he needed to be whole to do that.

  “Ms. Winters, I can’t thank you enough for setting this up.” David Rutherford held the gym door open for Cassie, who went inside first. “I still can’t believe that Marcus Reed agreed to give me some pointers. This is really gonna help my game.”

  Cassie realized she didn’t have to come along with the teen to meet his mentor, but she thought that maybe Marcus would be able to tell her something about his last meeting with her brother in the Half Joe’s parking lot.

  “Do you need a ride home afterward?”

  “That would be great. Mom wanted me to get a ride with Dad, but I don’t want to. He isn’t too thrilled with me wanting to play basketball in college and professionally.”

  “Sure. From what I understand they are finishing their practice early.”

  David quickened his pace. “Maybe we can catch the end of it.”

  The enthusiasm pouring off David was catching. She laughed and trailed after the teen into the practice gym. Disappointedly, they came at the very end when the players were walking off the court. Marcus stood under the goal, shooting baskets. Zachary Kirkland said something to the young man, who gestured toward them as they came into the gym. After throwing them a speculative glance, his coach left.

  Cassie found a place in the stands to watch while Marcus worked with David. From the wide grin on the teen’s face, she was so glad that Edgar had set up this meeting. Just this week she’d counseled the boy because he and his father had fought again. Cornell seemed too busy running for the presidency of the college to see what his son needed—some quality time with his dad. Maybe when the position was filled, Cornell would do some activities with David, like shooting baskets. A giggle rose up in Cassie when she visualized Cornell playing basketball with David. She could picture the head of the English Department in his wingtips and three-piece suit standing under the basket, trying to make a shot.

  Several players walked through the gym as they left, as did Quinn Nelson and Zachary. They said something to Marcus, then headed for the door. Cassie checked her watch and noted t
hat a half hour had passed. She’d give David a little more time.

  As she waited, thoughts of Jameson invaded her mind. She hadn’t seen him or talked to him in several days. Tomorrow night would be her last class with him. Would it be the last time she saw him except by accident around town? When he had left Saturday night, he’d been wrestling with his past. She wanted to see his revelations that evening as a positive step in their relationship, but she was scared she was reading too much into it.

  A movement on the court grabbed her attention. David gave Marcus a high five, and then the two began walking toward the stands. She came to her feet, seeing the apprehension in Marcus’s eyes—as though he was afraid to talk to her.

  She smiled, hoping to put the young man at ease. “Thank you so much for your time, especially with the season starting. I know how busy you’ll be.”

  “No problem. I’ve arranged with David to work with him next week. He’s got talent.”

  The teen beamed. “And I’m gonna sit on the bench at the opening game.”

  Cassie realized that Cornell, if he had been inclined to, could have gotten that for David. But according to David, his father had never offered. Besides, an invitation from the star player was a coup.

  David shook Marcus’s hand. “Thanks again. I’ll be here next Wednesday. I’m gonna get some water out in the lobby. I’ll wait for you out there, Ms. Winters.”

  As the teen trotted off, Cassie faced Marcus. “He’ll be floating on air for days.”

  “I think the program you’re starting at the school is great. I’m sure I can talk some other players into helping if you have a need.” He started to leave.

  “Marcus, I know you told Dr. King about telling my brother where Kevin was.”

  Marcus froze.

  “Did he tell you anything about what he was working on? Why he wanted to see Kevin after all these years?”

  Marcus hugged the basketball to his chest. “I wish I knew. When I asked Scott, he didn’t answer. He assured me he only wanted to talk to Kevin to apologize, to tell my brother that he didn’t blame him for the accident. That’s the only reason I gave him the information. But…” The tall young man stared off into space.

  “What?”

  A long moment passed before Marcus said, “I don’t know. He did something that made me think he was lying. He grinned when I said where Kevin was. When I called him on it, he yelled at me that I was imagining things. We didn’t part on the best of terms.”

  That was the scene she had witnessed. “Thanks. I appreciate you telling me.”

  “I wish I hadn’t said anything to your brother. Then maybe he would be alive and mine wouldn’t be in hiding.”

  “If you hear from Kevin, please let me know.”

  Marcus avoided her gaze and turned away. Without responding.

  She’d hit another brick wall. He wouldn’t tell her if he heard from Kevin. She couldn’t really blame him.

  “Marcus,” she called out before he disappeared into the locker room. When he stopped, she continued, “You didn’t do anything wrong. Scott’s murderer is responsible for my brother’s death.”

  Again no response. Marcus’s head dropped, and he kept going forward. So many people have been affected by what was going on. Her safe little world was being destroyed bit by bit.

  She scanned the empty gym and shivered. Suddenly she realized she was alone in the cavernous room. Hurrying out into the lobby, she spied David by the vending machine, finishing a bottle of water.

  Relieved to see the teen, she approached him as she dug for her keys in her purse. “Ready?”

  “This has been the best day. Thanks, Ms. Winters. You’re the greatest.”

  “Anytime.” She strode toward the exit.

  “Christiana told me she’s going to shadow Dee Owens next week.”

  “That was an easy one for me to set up since Dee is a friend. I’ll be interested to see if Christiana still wants to work in PR after spending some time with Dee.”

  “I’m glad her brother agreed. I still want to play basketball. Now more than ever.” David climbed into Cassie’s passenger’s seat.

  “So am I. How’s it going with you and Christiana?” Cassie asked, pulling into the stream of traffic.

  “I’ve seen her a couple of times, but her brother is always around. I’ve nicknamed him the Watchdog.”

  “Don’t let him hear you say that.”

  David laughed. “I’d be out that door so fast my head would spin.”

  “You have to remember the Brazilian culture is different from ours.”

  “He’s been here for years.”

  “Still, where we come from and our childhood has a big influence on the person we are.” She thought of herself, then Jameson, and knew how true that was. “We’re shaped by what has happened in the past.”

  Twenty-five minutes later, she parked in David’s driveway. “If you need a ride next week, let me know.”

  “I shouldn’t. I’ll be able to drive again. Being grounded isn’t fun. I hate asking people for rides.”

  “I remember the feeling. Next time, don’t run that stop sign and get a ticket.”

  Sending her a grin, David hopped from the car. “That’s what Mom said.”

  Cassie watched David until he disappeared inside his house before backing out of the driveway. Peering around at the large houses, sitting on half-acre lots, she hadn’t really thought about what a nice area of Magnolia Falls Cornell and Madeline lived in. It wasn’t Cornell’s job that had bought the minimansion, but Madeline’s family money. Being connected to the Kesslers would add a certain amount of prestige to the presidency if he got the job.

  As she drove toward her house, she began to realize how far out of town the Rutherfords lived and how lonely the stretch of road between their luxury subdivision and the more populated parts of Magnolia Falls.

  In the distance she saw a vehicle coming toward her. Behind her another car followed a couple of hundred yards back. Otherwise she was by herself on the two-lane highway. On her left she glimpsed some lights off the road that indicated a group of houses, but other than that, darkness blanketed the landscape. Not even the moon shone because of some cloud cover.

  Her grip on the steering wheel strengthened until her hands ached. She forced herself to loosen her hold. Although the urge to press her foot down on the accelerator dominated her thoughts, she kept her speed under the limit.

  The vehicle in the oncoming lane passed her, its taillights quickly vanishing around a bend. The car behind her sped forward, coming up right behind her. Its bright lights glowed so brilliantly that she couldn’t even tell what kind of automobile it was. Not that she was very good at that, anyway.

  Suddenly the car hit her bumper, jolting her. She pushed down on her accelerator. Her car surged forward, but so did the vehicle behind her. Her mind raced with possibilities, discarding one after another.

  Sweat broke out on her forehead as the auto struck her again. Another spurt of speed shot her odometer above eighty on a winding stretch of road. In the lights she saw the curve up ahead and grasped her wheel even tighter.

  Lord, help!

  The automobile came at her a third time, but at the last moment swerved into the other lane and began to pass her. She chanced a look when it was alongside her, but she couldn’t make out the driver through its tinted windows.

  Then the sixty-degree curve loomed not ten yards away. A stream of perspiration rolled down her brow and into her eyes, stinging her. She blinked and kept her gaze trained on the tricky part of the road.

  With another sharp jolt, she knew the mysterious driver was trying to run her off the road. Desperately, she concentrated on navigating the sharp bend while increasing her speed.

  The black car mirrored her move. Another thud. The sound of grinding metal thundered through her skull. At the beginning of the curve the driver collided with her left side and managed to nudge her car toward the steep shoulder.

  Then everything happen
ed fast. Her wheels hit the soft gravel, and she lost control of her car. She slammed on her brakes but continued her forward motion toward the dark field that ran along the highway. A grove of pine trees appeared out of the black curtain before her.

  Heart pounding, she sent up a quick prayer and braced herself. The air bag deploying was the last conscious noise she heard as its impact drove the breath from her, slamming her against her seat.

  Blackness, like the night, swallowed her.

  TWELVE

  C assie heard a sound and wondered who moaned and why. As she opened her eyes, she tried to shift in her seat, but something held her trapped. Inky darkness surrounded her.

  Where am I?

  Then she remembered what had happened. Someone had run her off the highway. She pushed at the deflating air bag that had wedged against her. Leaning forward, she squinted, trying to see out the cracked windshield. What little she could make out looked hazy, as though fog had settled in around her car. She sniffed the air. Smoke?

  What if the car caught on fire?

  The question flew through her mind. Starting to panic, she fumbled in the seat next to her for her purse and found it, then searched for the handle and pushed on her door. It wouldn’t budge. Her panic mushroomed into terror. Again she shoved on it, hitting her shoulder against the side panel. Finally, the door gave way and swung open. She tore at the straps of her seat belt, clawing them free, then scrambled out into the chilled night air.

  The scent of smoke imbued the area. A gray vapor poured from the engine, the mist disappearing among the pine branches above.

  Have to get out of here.

  She half limped, half ran toward the road. Not five feet from the highway she glimpsed a set of bright lights coming from Magnolia Falls. She started to hurry forward to flag down the approaching car until she thought of the person who had caused her wreck.

  What if he’s returning to see his damage?

  Fear drove her to the side, where she hid behind a large bush. The vehicle flew past, the driver obviously unaware of her smashed car thirty yards off the road. When it disappeared from view, she released the breath she had been holding and sank down onto the dirt shoulder.