Shelter of Hope (New Beginnings Book 8) Page 15

  “Okay, we can deal with this. We have to remain calm. Brady and Anna don’t need to see our fear,” Maggie said in a voice surprisingly calm while inside turmoil ruled, churning her stomach like a hurricane-tossed sea.

  “I know one thing. We’ll all leave this time. And if Keith refuses, I’ll have Zane and Gideon tie him up and stick him in the car.” Ruth twisted her hands together. “But don’t tell Keith that. I just know he’s not going to ride this storm out like he did Naomi.”

  “I don’t think Dad will, not after seeing how close he came to dying last time. But, Maggie, you’re right. We’ve got to keep it together. We have some time to plan. It’ll be days away. We have...” Kim’s voice faded into silence as Brady and Anna appeared in the doorway behind Ruth.

  The boy’s pale face mirrored the fear in Anna’s. “Mom, what are we gonna do?”

  Maggie crossed the room and settled her hand on Brady’s left shoulder. “As Aunt Kim said, we’re going to plan and wait. It’s too far away to tell where the hurricane will go for sure. If it comes this way, we’ll be all right.”

  “We weren’t last time, and now I have Sadie to take care of. I don’t want anything like last time happening to her.”

  Maggie placed her other hand on his right shoulder and waited until she had his full attention. “We will take care of Sadie. We learned a lot with Hurricane Naomi. We can use that to our advantage.”

  Brady dropped his gaze to the floor. Sadie nudged him. He scooped her up and cradled her next to his chest. “Can you stop it from destroying our town a second time?” He spun around and hurried down the hall to the stairs.

  The sound of his footsteps as he stomped upstairs echoed through the house. The past couple weeks her son had been responding to his sessions with Cody. Had that all been destroyed in a matter of minutes?

  The thought weighed her down. While Ruth, Anna, and Kim talked behind her, she trudged up to the second floor. Each time she lifted her foot, it felt as though she had a block of cement around it.

  She knocked on Brady’s door and waited for him to let her in. When he didn’t, she turned the knob and went into his bedroom. He stood at the window that looked toward the Gulf with Sadie still clutched to him.

  “I went to the beach today with Sadie after church, and the water was so calm. Deceiving us into thinking everything was going to be okay. It’s not. Even if we leave, what are we going to come back to? A home destroyed totally this time?”

  The questions her son was asking were ones that had been sounding through her mind since Ruth had made the announcement. She didn’t have an answer for him. “Whatever happens we will face it together.” Her reply seemed lacking even to her. More like a platitude, not a real solution.

  “You don’t have to babysit me. I’ve got Sadie.”

  His words dismissed her, but she remained rooted to the floor.

  He pivoted. “Really, Mom, I don’t feel like talking.”

  He didn’t yell at her. Instead he spoke as though he was tired of fighting and was giving up.

  “Brady, we don’t know if the hurricane will affect us.”

  “Yeah, sure.” He placed Sadie on his bed then strode to Maggie and guided her to the door.

  Before she knew it, she was in the hall—shut out of her son’s room. She started to go back in and demand he talk with her. But then that hadn’t worked well lately. She made her way to the game room’s back door that led to the second-floor gallery.

  Outside, a gentle breeze cooled the hot August evening. In the distance a nearly full moon burned bright in a clear sky. If she could see the water across the highway, she imagined it was still calm. Hurricane Carl was days away.

  She turned from the railing and glimpsed her son on his bed, staring at the ceiling, Sadie lying by his side, her head resting on his stomach. He needed to talk to someone. If not her, then Cody.

  Taking out her cell, she placed a call to Cody. “There’s another hurricane out in the Gulf, heading this way if it stays on course.”

  “Ruth just called me. She figured I needed to know because of the clients I work with. Does Brady know?”

  “Yes, and right now he’s on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He won’t talk to me about it, but he’s clearly upset. I’m worried.”

  “I’ll come over. Maybe he’ll talk to me.”

  “I hope so.”

  Maggie clicked off, but the words she longed to say to Cody remained locked inside of her. Talk to me too and tell me everything will be okay. After Hurricane Naomi had hit at the end of October last year, she’d felt battered and bruised emotionally. Lately she’d begun to think she was finally piecing everything back together. Now it was for nothing. She would have to start all over.

  Sinking down onto one of the lounge chairs on the second-floor gallery, she thought of what they would have to do to ready the house for another storm—mere weeks after it had been repaired after the last one. Some of the storm shutters weren’t up yet. They would have to be installed or boards purchased to cover those windows. Everything outside would have to be brought inside. Supplies bought in case the power went out. The list grew longer the more she thought about preparing for Hurricane Carl.

  Overwhelmed, she laid her head against the back cushion and closed her eyes. Her mind went blank.

  Sometime later, the sound of a car coming down the drive drew her attention. Cody. As it pulled around to the back of the house, she shoved to her feet and moved to the stairs to wait for him. She followed his progress up the steps. Although his face was in the shadows, she felt his gaze on her, reading her. She moved away from the stream of light from inside. Tears stung her eyes, but she would not cry in front of him.

  He stopped near her, taking her hands. “How are you doing?”

  “Peachy. I’m looking forward to going through another storm.” Defeat laced each word, and she hated that. But that didn’t change how she felt. “Sorry. You don’t need to hear that.” She tugged her hands free from his.

  “Is it the truth?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then I want to hear it. I imagine I’ll hear it a lot in the next few days.”

  “What are you going to say to those people?”

  He sighed. “I could tell you it will depend on the person, which it will. But mostly I want the people to feel they do have control over how they respond to the news. They may not be able to control if the hurricane comes or not, but their reaction and what they do about the storm are in their hands.”

  “That sounds so easy. It’s not all the time.”

  “I know. I’ve been there.” He paused, then said, “I lost my mother to a tornado. And our home was severely damaged.”

  “You never told me that.”

  “It’s not something I talk about much. I was a child when it happened. Near Brady’s age. It really has no bearing on what’s happening now.” His jaw clenched into a hard line.

  “Are you sure? This time if the hurricane strikes, you won’t be going to a disaster after the fact but be in the middle of one occurring.”

  “It doesn’t change anything. It just means I’ll be able to help others right away.” He tensed, his gaze sliding away from her.

  He wasn’t telling her something. He could tell her it didn’t make any difference, but his body language said otherwise. “I guess you’re right because Hope isn’t really your home. You don’t have anything at stake here like the rest of us.”

  He flinched and stepped back until he bumped into the railing behind him. “Keeping myself detached helps me cope. I found that out the first year on the job. I throw all my emotional energy into helping others. I don’t have time to shore myself up because I become so invested in my clients.”

  “How long do most of the counselors last with Christian Assistance Coalition?”

  “Maybe five years.”

  “And you?”

  “Seven.”

  “How many vacations have you had over those years?”

  “Three.
”

  “You worry about me taking care of myself. I worry about you.”

  “Don’t. This is my job,” he said in a voice drenched with tension. Then he looked around. “Where’s Brady? I’m sure I’ll get other calls tonight.”

  Hope wouldn’t be the only town affected. There would always be a disaster occurring somewhere in the world. To have someone like Cody who understood what it was like to go through one was important for the survivors. She couldn’t deny that. “Brady’s in his bedroom. I’ll be out here after you talk with him.”

  When he went into the house, Maggie began pacing. She couldn’t sit. Restlessness zipped through her. She circled the second-floor gallery. Passing by Brady’s window, she caught sight of Cody sitting at the foot of her son’s bed, Brady leaning against the headboard. She slowed and watched as Brady said something, a scowl on his face.

  She forced herself away from the window and continued her trek around the perimeter of the house. The next time she walked past her son’s window, she spied him holding Sadie on his lap, stroking her while intent on what Cody was saying. When she reached the back stairs across from the door into the game room, she stopped and perched herself against the railing to wait for Cody.

  Closing her eyes, she listened to an owl hoot in a tree at the back of the property. The scent of the sea saturated the air, with the fragrance of a couple gardenia bushes below vying for dominance. She imagined waves rhythmically washing up on the shore not far away—the sound soothing, lulling her into a sense of peace. If only she could feel that way. If only she didn’t feel her life was falling apart all over again like right after she found out Robbie had died in the line of fire.

  The door opened. She straightened as Cody crossed to her, his expression even, offering no indication of what had transpired with Brady. She waited for him to break the silence.

  “He’s upset, but we talked about what he could do if Hurricane Carl hits Hope. What he can control. Where he can make a difference. We’re going gigging for flounders again tomorrow night. That is if the water isn’t too rough by then. If not, we can sit at the end of a pier and fish.”

  In other words, he would have another session with Brady. “Thanks. I’ve been worried about him.”

  “I’ve been worried about you.”

  “You don’t have to be. I’m fine.” Her declaration rushed from her before she really thought about what she said.

  He cradled her chin. “Are you?”

  Her throat thickened. She swallowed several times, but the tears demanded release. No, I’ve got to be strong. I’m always the calm one. She rotated toward the railing, clutching it, her fingernails digging into the wood that had been replaced since the last hurricane. Would it have to be again?

  Cody came up beside her, his arm inches from hers. “You know what I think. You have been so busy making sure everyone else is all right that you have forgotten to take care of yourself. For the past nine months, you’ve held this family together. Actually for the last thirteen years, you’ve been there for Brady and later for your uncle. You keep the house clean. You usually prepare the meals. You listen to others. Knit shawls for women who need a little extra comfort. Maybe it’s time for you to look out for yourself. It’s okay every once in a while to do that.”

  His words washed over her like the waves on the beach, luring her toward that peace she cherished. She could see it just up ahead. But it flickered and went out like a neon sign of welcome in the dark of night going black.

  She pried her fingers from the railing and moved away from Cody. “You’re telling me this when your work is to look after others. To help them overcome their problems.”

  “Yes, but I take time for myself.”

  “Do you? Besides going fishing with Brady, which isn’t really for pleasure since you’re counseling him, what have you done for yourself since you’ve arrived in Hope?”

  “I went out on Zane’s boat on the Fourth of July. I read your romance.”

  “Before that.”

  “I read in the evening when I could. Jogged some.” He let out a rough breath. “This isn’t a conversation about who takes time for leisure activities. This is about addressing what you feel regarding a problem rather than suppressing it. That may work for a while, but in the long run it will come out.”

  “What do you want me to say? That I’m tired? I am. That I’m angry this is happening again to Hope? I am.” Her voice caught on the last word as tears flooded her eyes, Cody’s image shimmering before her. “This has been a long day. I can’t have this conversation anymore. Good night.”

  He reached out to touch her. She evaded his hand and backed away, one tear leaking from her eye and rolling down her cheek. She whirled around and escaped inside the house. Then, like a deluge, sorrow rained down on her. Because she wanted more with Cody. But he didn’t.

  * * *

  Cody stared at the door Maggie had closed. A barrier. It might as well be a stone wall with no way through. He wanted to help her—needed to—but for once, he didn’t have anything to say to her that would make things right.

  What do You want me to do, God? I don’t know anymore.

  Cody made his way to his car. These next few days would be difficult, and for the first time, he didn’t know if he had it in him. People would depend on him to make sense of something that didn’t make sense.

  Why, Lord? Why Hope again?

  * * *

  “We haven’t gotten many hits this evening,” Cody said to Brady while they sat at the end of the pier, their feet dangling over the water.

  “Sometimes you do. Sometimes you don’t.”

  “It sounds like you’re doing better today.”

  Brady lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “Not much I can do about the hurricane. Aunt Ruth told me it passed Cuba early this morning. Still heading this way. But we are doing what we can to get ready. We’ll go to Hattiesburg again. Mom called her friend this morning, and she has invited us to stay with her. Sadie will be safe. She’ll go with us.”

  Cody didn’t usually track hurricanes, but he was this one. It had grown stronger with winds up to 125 miles per hour with still a lot of Gulf to go to feed its strength.

  “We started storm preparation today. Zane installed the rest of the shutters with Gideon’s help. I brought in all the outside stuff.”

  “How’s your uncle Keith doing?”

  “Okay, I guess. He hasn’t said much.”

  “I thought I would drop in after we fish.” He’d had to work with a lot of his clients today, helping them to deal with what was happening. He’d been surprised Keith hadn’t called or come by, especially with Ruth working down the hall from him. When he’d picked up Brady, Keith was at the store. He hoped he was at the house later.

  For a few minutes, Brady remained silent, reeling in his line, checking his shrimp bait then putting it back in the water. “You know that day I told you I hated God, I didn’t mean it.”

  “What did you mean?”

  “I was angry at Him. Do you think He’s upset because I was?”

  “No, God loves us no matter what. It’s like when you do something you shouldn’t, and your mom still loves you in spite of what you did.”

  “Yeah, Mom is like that.”

  “You can tell God anything. He forgives us.” The words came out almost without thought. Cody had said many times those very words before, but suddenly he listened to what he was saying. Really listened. Had he ever talked with the Lord about what happened that day his mother was killed in the tornado? About his part in it?

  “Cody?”

  Brady saying his name snagged Cody’s attention. “Yeah?”

  “I’m worried about Mom. I went to her room last night to talk to her and heard her crying.”

  “What about?”

  “Don’t know. I didn’t disturb her. I didn’t know what to say to her.”

  “Do you want me to talk to her?”

  Brady shifted toward him, his gaze fixed on him. “Wou
ld you?”

  “If I can help, I will.”

  Drawing in a deep breath, the boy turned to face forward. “Good. I know you can help her.”

  I’m not so sure. He was too close to her. He’d made the mistake of getting too emotionally involved. It was hard for him to step back and look at Maggie objectively anymore. But he would do what he could.

  “I’ve got a bite!” Brady scrambled to his feet and began reeling in his fish.

  * * *

  “We got a lot done today. We’re in good shape.” Maggie took her seat at the kitchen table.

  “Good shape! Maybe I should take pictures of this place. In a few days it may be gone.” Keith stabbed the baked chicken piece he wanted and passed the platter to Ruth.

  “Uncle Keith, we have flood insurance now. We are covered a lot better than last year.”

  He snorted. “That’s the point. It hasn’t even been a year, and we are right back where we were nine months ago.”

  Ruth covered his hand. “But this time we are stronger. We have each other.”

  Keith’s gaze fastened on his wife, and the frown dissolved into a soft look. “Yeah, you’re right.” A moment later, he dragged his attention to Maggie. “You’re right. We’re in better shape than last year. Goodness knows, we have this hurricane routine down pat now.”

  Maggie took Uncle Keith’s free hand then Ruth’s and began to pray. “Lord, protect Hope from the hurricane, and if it does strike the town, please keep everyone safe. We’re in Your hands now. Amen.”

  Uncle Keith scooped up the steamed cauliflower. “Where’s Brady?”

  “Fishing with Cody.”

  “He worked hard today. I’m glad he went. It might be a while before he can fish with this storm approaching.” Uncle Keith forked a piece of his chicken and cut it with a knife.

  “They couldn’t go gigging for flounders. The water is getting rough so they’re at the pier at the end of Bayview. I sent sandwiches with Brady so he wouldn’t have to rush back.”

  “In other words, if he needs to talk with Cody, he has the time.” Ruth sipped her drink. “I know Kathleen’s boys are worried.”