Into the Fire Read online

  The contempt in his voice eroded her composure. “I won’t tell you that didn’t cross my mind, but I never really considered that option, partially because I wouldn’t do that to Kenny and Ashley, but mostly because that isn’t the type of person I am.” Can’t you see I’m not my father’s daughter?

  He dropped his arms to his sides. “Why are you here?”

  “John stormed out of here. I think he needs someone to talk to. I thought you might be that someone—that is if you know where he went.”

  Apprehension filled his expression totally now. “I think I do.” He stepped out into the hall, closed his door and made his way to the stairs. “What about Vicky?”

  “I’m going to talk with her. See if she’s all right.”

  Kane threw her an unreadable look. “You are? This has got to be sweet revenge.”

  “Revenge was never my motive.”

  “What was?”

  “When my adoptive father died, that last time I talked with him, he suggested I try and locate my birth mother. He knew how his wife felt about me. She hadn’t wanted a child. He had, but because he wouldn’t be around, he wanted me to have a family. He’d hoped it would be my biological one. I’d promised him I would try because for years I’d wondered about the woman who had given birth to me.”

  At the top of the stairs Kane faced her. “Well, you’ve fulfilled the promise and managed to damage a good marriage in the process.”

  The icy facade had returned to his features. “Hopefully when I leave here, they’ll be able to mend their marriage. If it’s as good as you say, they should be able to.”

  “So, you are leaving?”

  Something flickered behind his cold mask, but it was so fleeting she wasn’t sure of what she saw. “Yes. In fact, I’ve gone ahead and gotten a room in the dorm for the next week. I should have most of my things out of here by tomorrow evening.” She pushed past him to go up to Vicky’s.

  His words stopped her halfway across the foyer. “David called. In Dr. Johnson’s wife’s car trunk, the police found a man’s blue shirt with a torn pocket that matched the fabric Henry had been clutching in his hand. She was supposed to have taken some clothes to Goodwill and had stuck them in a bag then forgot about them. Dr. Johnson denies owning that shirt, and his wife doesn’t remember…but she did say she didn’t know what her husband was doing that night. She had been sleeping soundly for the first time in a while.”

  With her back to Kane, she said, “Good. This whole episode is finally coming to an end with the killer caught.” She started up the stairs to the second floor. She would have her life back soon. Without threats to her safety. Without Seven Oaks. Without Kane.

  When Maggie knocked on her birth mother’s apartment, Ashley opened the door, tears streaming down her face. The child threw herself into Maggie’s arms.

  “Mommy’s crying in her bedroom. I don’t know what to do.”

  “Where’s Kenny?” Maggie held her sister tightly, relishing the chance.

  “He’s still at Sean’s I guess. I got bored and came home early.”

  “Where are you supposed to be?”

  “Downstairs at the Sellmans’.”

  Maggie looked down at the child, combing her hair behind her ears. “Do me a favor. I’ll talk to your mom while you go back to the Sellmans’. Okay?”

  “But Mommy isn’t happy.”

  “I know. But maybe I can make things better, and then she’ll come get you.”

  With a pout tugging at her mouth, Ashley nodded.

  After the little girl left, Maggie made her way to Vicky’s bedroom door and knocked. “Vicky, please let’s talk.”

  Half a minute later she faced her mother. “Ashley let me in. She’s concerned about you.”

  Vicky dabbed her eyes with a tissue, but they immediately filled with tears. “She should be downstairs.”

  “She is now, but I promised her I would talk to you. She’s worried about you.”

  “I’ve made a mess of everything.” Vicky turned back into her bedroom. “John will probably leave me. You hate me. I…”

  Maggie moved inside and closed the door. “John loves you. I’ve seen it. Yes, he’s mad and upset right now, but you two can work this out.” She paused, trying to piece together her own feelings toward her biological mother.

  Vicky sank onto her bed, her eyes huge with her sorrow. “But you’ll never be able to forgive me for what I did to you years ago?”

  Let it go. Anger and hate destroy. Forgiveness is the only option if you ever want to be free to live your own life. She’d been telling herself that for the past few days since her last meeting with Vicky when she hadn’t been able to contain the emotions she’d carried around for so many years. She wanted to forgive Vicky then but hadn’t been able to. Could she now?

  “I thought at the time I was doing the right thing. My parents were ashamed of me and would never have accepted you. I was still in high school with no means of making a living on my own. I wanted to give you a better life. I didn’t know it would turn out to be so bad for you.”

  Did it really? She had a wonderful father who loved her unconditionally. Her adoptive mother had done her best and had never openly shown her true feelings until after her father passed away.

  Lord, I need Your help. Please give me the strength to do what’s right.

  “It wasn’t all bad. Henry may be my biological father, but he really isn’t my father in my heart. The one who raised me, helped shape me into the person I am today, showed me the power of the Lord. He’s my real father.” Maggie drew in a fortifying breath, a peace she’d been seeking washing over her. “I can’t hate you, Vicky. I forgive you for giving me up when I was born. You did the best you could under the circumstances.”

  “You forgive me?”

  “Yes, and if I can forgive you, then so can John. Give him some time to accept the news.”

  “I was so wrong to keep that from him. I should have told him the truth from the beginning of our marriage, but I felt ashamed. I thought he wouldn’t love me.”

  Maggie crossed the room and sat beside her mother. “You were sixteen and made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. Look at what I did. I should never have come here.”

  “Then I would never know about you.” Vicky looked at her. “You’ve grown up to be a nice young lady. I used to dream about you and how well you’d turn out. I never forgot you. Ever.” She put her hand over her heart. “I just carried you around in here secretly.”

  “But secrets have a way of poisoning things. I came here with a secret and look what happened.”

  “Yeah, look what happened with my secret. When Henry had first returned to Seven Oaks to the very apartment building I lived in, I knew it was only a matter of time before John discovered I’d had a baby, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. I kept thinking maybe Henry had changed into the young man I’d thought I loved at one time, but he hadn’t. He was full of bitterness when he left Seven Oaks, and it had gotten worse over the years.”

  “Henry had his own secrets that came back to haunt him.”

  Vicky pushed off the bed. “I still can’t believe that Dr. Johnson murdered him. That he’d killed his parents, too. So much is coming out now that my head aches.”

  “I know what you mean. Although the police haven’t formally charged him with Henry’s murder, only his parents’. David says it’s only a matter of time before they do.” Maggie rose, awed that she was in the same room with her mother with no secrets between them anymore. Maybe one day they would have a true mother/daughter relationship even if it had to be long distance. “I’d better go. I told Ashley you would come get her after I talked to you. I don’t want her to worry any more than she already has.”

  Vicky walked with her as she headed for the hallway. “I’ll be telling my children you’re their sister. I won’t keep any more secrets. They deserve to know who you are, and you deserve to be in their life.”

  “I’m leaving, Vicky. I’m moving
back to the dorm. I’ve given the hospital my two-week notice. I’m returning to St. Louis.”

  “No, you can’t!” Stopping at the door, Vicky placed a hand on Maggie. “What about Kenny, Ashley?”

  “I can’t stay. I…” How could she explain about her feelings concerning Kane? He didn’t want her around reminding him of Ruth. She couldn’t be around him seeing his contempt.

  “Is this about Kane?”

  Her throat tight, Maggie nodded.

  “You’ve been so good for my children but also for Kane. I’ve never seen him become so involved with others like he is with you. He used to come home from his job and hide out in his workshop. He threw everything into the pieces of furniture he made. He hasn’t really participated in life since he came back from the war.”

  Maggie wrenched the door open. “I just can’t be where I’m not wanted. I’m sorry.” She hurried toward the staircase. Her decision had been made. Talking about it only brought pain.

  * * *

  Kane saw John sitting on a bench that was secluded from prying eyes by a ring of tall bushes. His friend sat with his elbows on his thighs, his hands clasped as he stared at the small lake at the north end of the park. Kane’s leg ached from practically jogging over to the place. He needed to get his other prosthesis out of its box in the closet the next time he decided to go for a run. It was time he got his old life back.

  When Kane took a seat next to John, he slid his glance toward Kane then back to the water. “I see Vicky got you to come talk to me.”

  “Nope.”

  “She didn’t?” He straightened and stared at Kane. “Then why are you here?”

  “Maggie asked me to come talk to you.”

  “She did?” John snorted and resumed his study of the lake. “She’s caused quite a commotion in my life.”

  Did Maggie really cause it? She wasn’t responsible for what happened at her birth and after concerning Vicky. “For the longest time I’ve been so angry at Ruth for walking out on me when I needed her the most. That anger wouldn’t allow me to see anything beyond that. Lately I’ve been taking a good hard look at that time in my life. Not until recently did I begin to see Ruth’s side. And, John, everyone has their side.” Maggie had taught him that.

  “What could possibly be Vicky’s side? She had a baby and couldn’t tell me about it.”

  “But it happened before you two were even dating.”

  “Yeah, but the woman I fell in love with was living a lie.” John surged to his feet, his stance rigid.

  “Was she really? She’d done what she thought was best for the child then picked up the pieces of her life and moved on. Granted, she made a mistake not telling you about it, but no one is perfect.”

  John fisted his hands, his back to Kane.

  “You two have a good marriage. Don’t throw it away because you’re angry. Look what I did. I’ve thrown the last three years of my life away because of my anger. I haven’t moved on since the time I woke up in the hospital and discovered I had lost part of my leg. I drove Ruth away. I isolated myself from everyone. I haven’t really been living. Do you want that to happen to you?”

  His friend spread his fingers wide. “I want my family the way it was.”

  “Change happens to us all the time. Often, we don’t have control over it, but we can control how we deal with it.” Kane stood and grasped John’s shoulder. “You have the life I want. A loving wife and children. Don’t turn your back on it like I did.”

  Like I’m doing.

  The thought stunned Kane. Was that what he was doing by letting Maggie walk out of his life?

  * * *

  “Do you need any help packing?” Edwina asked from the doorway of her spare bedroom late Monday afternoon.

  Maggie zipped up her suitcase and then turned toward her friend. “No.”

  “I don’t like the idea of you being in your apartment alone. I don’t mind helping.”

  “I appreciate your offer, but I don’t have anything to worry about now. Dr. Johnson is in jail.” She grinned. “Besides, Edwina, I’m a big girl. I was going to move out when the apartment was finished.”

  “I know, but I can’t help it if I worry about you. What if Dr. Johnson didn’t kill Henry? David says they won’t charge him until the DNA tests on the shirt come back. That could take a while.”

  “I’m gonna be fine.” If she said that enough, she might begin to believe that. Right now, her heart felt as though it were broken into a hundred pieces, and like Humpty Dumpty, she wasn’t sure she could put her back together. “I’m going to get my things over several evenings. I’ve got some boxes I’ll fill tonight and load in my car. I’m glad I had to throw out some of my possessions. Less to pack up. Quit worrying about me.”

  “Now tell me again why you’re leaving. The kids know you are their sister and are thrilled. John hasn’t moved out of the apartment upstairs. And you love Kane.” She tapped her temple. “I know these things, so you can’t deny what you feel for him.”

  “You just don’t want to admit your matchmaking didn’t work this time.” Maggie strode toward the older woman she’d become quite fond of in a short period of time. “And I won’t deny I care—” she shook her head “—no, you’re right, love Kane, but it takes two to make a relationship work. I haven’t even seen him since yesterday.”

  “Give him time. He’ll come around.”

  “I don’t want him to come around. I want him to accept me with all my faults. If he expects me to be the perfect woman, I’ve got news for him. I’m not. Never will be.” Maggie gave Edwina a hug and then grabbed the boxes by the door. “I won’t leave without stopping by and letting you know.”

  “I’ve gotten used to having you here. Are you sure you want to stay at the dorm this week?”

  “Yes.” Because if I stayed here, seeing Kane would tempt me not to leave. She couldn’t take his continual rejection. She’d fought that her whole life.

  With the containers in hand, Maggie headed up to her almost-renovated apartment. As she passed Vicky’s door, she smiled at the memory yesterday evening of the hugs she’d received from both Kenny and Ashley. She was determined she would be in their life even from St. Louis. She didn’t intend to lose them after finding them. She would take the money Henry had left her and set up a college fund for both Kenny and Ashley as well as some children involved in the Southside Recreational Center. At least some good would come from her inheritance.

  In her apartment, she scanned the living room she had come to think of as her home in a short time. Where else would she find a place where the people had cared about her, had been so concerned when she’d been attacked?

  Her gaze lit upon the mantel, and she saw the leather pouch sticking out from behind a photo of her adoptive father. She’d forgotten about putting it there when David had come to pick up the evidence hidden in that pouch.

  She should read the other papers she hadn’t at the bank or on the long ride back to Seven Oaks. She wasn’t sure she wanted to, but she couldn’t leave it here.

  Crossing to the mantel, she slid the pouch out from its hiding place and dropped it in the top box. She would start with the kitchen and work her way through the apartment.

  When she entered that room and set the containers on the table, her gaze caught sight of the leather pouch, its presence taunting her. If she read its contents now, then she could put it away forever, never to think about Henry Payne again.

  She fingered the only thing she hadn’t looked at, a sealed envelope with her name sprawled across it as though he had only wanted her to read what was inside. With a deep breath, she tore the end and removed the piece of stationery. Her hands began to tremble as she unfolded the letter.

  She had only intended to skim the sheet of paper, but as soon as she started, she found herself immersed in her biological father’s explanation. “All I could do was content myself with following your life from afar. I wouldn’t disrupt the kind of relationship I saw you had with your adoptive fat
her, but I had wanted that, still do as I write this. Although Vicky denied me the chance to be your father, I don’t really blame her. We were too young, and now it’s too late. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t love you.” Those words that Henry had written released her sorrow, long bottled up inside her.

  Through her tears, the end blurred. She swiped at them and tried to finish reading. But they fell onto the penned letter. She cried for the man who fathered her and had loved her in his own way. She cried for the mistake two teens had made when they had thought they had been in love. She cried for what she wouldn’t have—a life with Kane, a family to love.

  Finally, she wiped her tears from her eyes and perused the rest of the letter. Carefully she folded it and slid it back into its envelope.

  Now when she looked around the kitchen, she tried to imagine Henry cooking his meals, a lonely man who had forgotten how to relate to others. It didn’t fit with the man she’d come to learn about. A man she was now learning was a series of contradictions.

  She put the leather pouch in the box and switched on her music she loved on her cell phone to drown out all thoughts. She was exhausted from thinking about the past, the future. Using her earplugs, she determinedly turned from the cardboard carton to set about doing the work she had come to do. Quickly she became lost in the classical tunes.

  Finished with her kitchen a half hour later, Maggie removed her earplugs and then taped the containers and marked them with numbers. She carried each one to the foyer, where she stacked the boxes. Then she strode toward her bedroom. She paused in the entrance into her office to see what was left to do before Kane could advertise the apartment. Noticing the closet open, she decided to make sure she’d gotten everything salvageable out of it.

  She took a few paces toward it when suddenly a figure emerged from it. Her gaze flew to his face. Surprise widened his eyes.

  “What are you doing here?” She backed up a step.

  He held a hammer and a screwdriver. All surprise fled his features as resolve fell into place. He moved toward her. Determination and something else—menace—glinted in his gaze.