Shelter of Hope (New Beginnings Book 8) Page 17

  “That’s right. I was thinking I would be going to Florida’s panhandle. I was surprised by what happened.”

  She shot to her feet. “I’d better go back to work. Ruth is right. People will be flooding the mayor’s office with questions. We’re not out of the woods yet.”

  Before Cody could stand, Maggie hurried out of the office, tossing her trash in the can by the door. Its plunk seemed to vibrate the air as if she were making a statement. Taking a step to go after her, he glanced at his watch. His next appointment would be here any minute. He’d catch her after work.

  After cleaning up his lunch, he paused at the window that overlooked the front of City Hall. In the distance he could see the Gulf, gray clouds bellowing in the sky. Concern plagued him. Maggie wasn’t doing as well as she stated.

  * * *

  “Yes, Mrs. Abare, that’s what the weather channel has said. It has turned more to the west,” Maggie said to one of many townspeople who had been calling all afternoon wanting to know what to do. “We recommend you stay informed about what direction the hurricane is taking and not to undo any of your storm preparation until it has hit land.”

  “Thank you, dear. That’s what my daughter said and Dr. Weston. I feel so much better because of that young man. Good day.”

  As she hung up, Maggie spied another client going into Cody’s office at six o’clock. Obviously, others felt as she did. They were vulnerable to Hurricane Carl. Cody was giving out the official advice—stay informed and prepared.

  The light on Ruth’s phone was lit so she was still talking to the police chief. She’d stay to see how long Ruth needed her. But at least the calls weren’t as frequent. Leaning back in her chair, Maggie closed her eyes and inhaled a lungful of air. No matter what she feared, she had to be calm for Uncle Keith and Brady.

  The ring of the phone jarred her straight up. She grappled for the receiver and said, “The mayor’s office, Maggie Sommerfield speaking.”

  “Maggie, are you okay?”

  The cold piece of plastic she held nearly slipped from her fingers. She tightened her hold and replied, “Why are you calling, Dad?”

  Chapter Thirteen

  “I heard about Hurricane Carl this morning and wanted to see how you were doing,” Maggie’s father said.

  How do you think? Lousy. But Maggie kept those words to herself. She should have expected this from her father. The only other times he had called was when her mother had died a couple years ago and then again when Hurricane Naomi had hit. It took a disaster for him to contact her. Otherwise, anytime she’d talked to him had been because she had initiated it.

  “Maggie? Are you there?”

  “Yes.”

  “I know we haven’t talked in a while, but I wanted you to know I was thinking about you and the people in Hope.”

  “You don’t need to worry about the town. I think the hurricane is going to hit somewhere else. At least that’s what the National Weather Service is now saying.” But he wouldn’t know that because he didn’t really care enough to keep track once he found out about the storm. “I’m sorry, Dad, but I have a lot to do. Goodbye.”

  She hung up, still hearing his deep baritone voice. When the phone rang again, Maggie ignored it in case it was him. She couldn’t talk to him now and pretend that they had a normal relationship, that he hadn’t gone along with Mom and cut her out of his life. The memory pierced her with a shaft of pain. She buried her face in her hands and fought to forget.

  “Maggie, the phone was ringing.” Ruth came to the doorway into her office. “That was your father. I told him you were gone. I thought you’d left.”

  She raised her head, her throat clammed with emotions she wanted to deny it. “I talked to him a few minutes ago.”

  “Oh. Are you okay?”

  “Yes.” She fumbled in her drawer for her purse. “Is it all right if I leave?”

  “Sure.”

  Maggie rose and rushed out of the office. He doesn’t get to act like the caring father now after thirteen years.

  * * *

  Maggie entered the house by the front door, hoping she could escape to her room undetected. She crossed to the stairs.

  “Where have you been?” Uncle Keith asked from the living room entrance. “Ruth said you left the office over an hour ago. I was worried something had happened.”

  Hand on the newel post, Maggie glanced back at her uncle. “I went for a drive. I’m sorry I worried you.” Her fingers tightened their grip on the wooden railing.

  “What did my brother have to say?”

  “You talked to him? When?”

  “This afternoon. He called here wanting to talk to you.”

  Her throat thickened. For the last hour she’d driven along the coast with no destination in mind. She’d ended up getting out of her car and walking on the beach. The wind blew, the waves bigger than usual. But no matter how much she had wanted to find some kind of peace, she couldn’t.

  “I’m gathering by your silence it didn’t go well,” her uncle said.

  “Did you expect it to? We’ve talked a handful of times since he and Mom left Hope more than a decade ago. I didn’t even know Mom was sick or that she’d died until after the funeral.”

  “Would it have made any difference to you?”

  The question hit her in the chest, ripping through her heart. She sank to the stairs, tears she hadn’t been able to shed burning her eyes. “Yes.” The word came out unexpectedly. She’d always thought it hadn’t made any difference, but it did. She’d needed to say goodbye to her mother. She hadn’t with Robbie—not really.

  Uncle Keith sat beside her on the step. “I told John he needed to tell you about why your mother was the way she was, but he didn’t want you to know. I’m not sure why. Pride. Some kind of loyalty to Marilyn. I can’t answer that. I do know he loved Marilyn to distraction.”

  “I know, but I’d hoped he’d have some love for me.”

  “He did—in his own way. Marilyn has been gone for almost two years, and he’s just started to pull his life together. To join the living again. I know what he’s going through. I did the same when my first wife died. I thought everything was over with. Slowly I realized it wasn’t, and then I found Ruth, who was able to show me there was more to life than what I’d been going through.”

  Her fingers threaded together, and she closed her eyes, willing her tears away. “What story should Dad have told me?”

  “That your mother was pregnant with you before they were married. She wanted to have you and give you up for adoption. She was eighteen and didn’t want to get married or have children. Your dad talked her into marrying him. Even though she grew to love your father more every day, I could tell she resented you. It broke my heart. John spent his whole life trying to make it up to her, for staying with him, but I don’t think she was ever really happy.” He covered her hands with one of his. “You’ve become like a second daughter to me.”

  A tear fell and splashed onto his wrist. “Is that supposed to help me? How?”

  “Because you need to know the truth before you can fully deal with it. And don’t tell me it doesn’t bother you. It does. You dad wants to come back to Hope. I think he wants your forgiveness.”

  Maggie scrambled to her feet and faced her uncle. “No, he can’t come back.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because he left me—disowned me. You don’t get a second chance to—” She couldn’t say the rest of the words: hurt me.

  Whirling around, she rushed to the front door and wrenched it open. Outside on the veranda, she scanned the area, searching for some place to escape from the world.

  * * *

  That evening as the sun began to set, Cody sat on his balcony, his cell phone in his pocket in case someone needed to get in touch with him. But for the moment, he relished the quiet as he noticed people coming and going at a leisurely pace—not the frantic one of the last couple days as they had prepared for the hurricane. The latest news from the U.S. Weat
her Bureau confirmed that Hurricane Carl had changed its course more westerly with no hint of turning back.

  Why do I keep thinking I need to stay, Lord? Is that what You want me to do? For the past two days, I’ve met with so many people who needed me—not just because of the hurricane. How do I walk away from them?

  How can I walk away from Maggie? I love her. I tried not to, but I do. What do I do about it?

  When she’d run out of his office today, he’d wanted to go after her, but then he’d had one client after another. When he’d finally had time to think, he didn’t know what to say to Maggie. Until he knew his own heart.

  Hannah pulled up to the curb and climbed from her car. Waving to him, she strode toward the stairs. He couldn’t turn his back on his only immediate family. That much he knew. And when he thought that, a peace descended, nothing about this decision nagging him not to do it.

  Hannah opened the balcony door. “Whatcha doing out here?”

  “Thinking, now that I’ve had some quiet time.”

  “Will you be okay about my decision? I’ve thought long and hard over it, and I think it’s for the best.”

  “I agree.”

  Her eyebrows lifted. “You do?” She took the other chair. “I’m glad you aren’t upset at me anymore.”

  “I haven’t been upset with you but with myself.”

  “Why?”

  He stared at his sister who looked so much like their mother. “When Mom died, I promised myself I would be here for you.”

  “You have been, but I’m a big girl now. I can take care of myself.”

  “I know that. After Mom’s death, I went to a dark place. I begged God to take my pain away, that I’d do anything to help others if only I didn’t hurt so much. And He did.”

  She snapped her fingers. “Just like that.”

  “Not exactly, but over time, I was able to deal with Mom’s loss. I decided then I would help others, that the Lord gave me another chance.” He took a deep breath, laced with the scent of the sea nearby. “I’m staying in Hope. I have a place where I can still help others, but be here for you, too.”

  “Don’t stay because of me. I don’t want to be the one that you stay for. I’ll be okay.”

  “I know you’ll be okay, but don’t tell me you don’t want your sons to have an uncle in their life.”

  “I can’t say that. I do, but no matter where you are, you’ll be their uncle, and I’ll make sure they know that.”

  He rose, bent down, and kissed her cheek. “I know you will. And I love you for that. You are not going to talk me out of this.” He turned toward the door.

  “Where are you going?”

  “To see Maggie.”

  “You love her, don’t you?”

  “Yeah. I’m going to put myself out there again. If I don’t, I’ll always regret it.”

  “Good, it’s about time you woke up.”

  He chuckled. “You’re right. It has been like I’ve been sleeping through life. Or at the least watching from the sidelines.”

  * * *

  Darkness approached, and all Maggie could think about was that her mother hadn’t wanted her. She’d known that, but to hear it confirmed squeezed her heart until the pain encompassed her whole being. She felt as though she’d been left all over again. Seated on the beach across from Bienville, she clasped her arms around her raised knees.

  “Maggie.”

  She tensed. Had Uncle Keith called Cody to come over and talk to her? She was beyond that.

  Cody sat beside her. “Keith told me you were out here.”

  “Go home. I’m not one of your clients. You didn’t have to come. I’ll be all right.”

  “Will you? Take it from a guy who has avoided facing my problems, it isn’t going to work.”

  She slanted a glance at him. “You have problems? I thought you had your whole life mapped out. You go from one place to the next because that way you won’t have to deal with feelings. They can be so nasty at times.” Even over the sound of the sea, she could hear him suck in a deep breath.

  His gaze clashed with hers. “I’m not leaving here. I want to help you.”

  She swung her attention to the last wave that broke over the sand a few feet from her. Anger shouted for release. “Don’t you dare come here and try to analyze my feelings. You avoid your own, so you don’t have a right to mine.”

  She tried to stand, but Cody clamped a hand about her arm and held her still. “Contrary to what you think, I do have feelings. I came over to tell you a few of them. That’s when Keith told me your dad called and you were upset.”

  She shook off his touch. “I’m beginning to think you have it right. Retreat from everyone. Keep yourself protected by not letting anyone in. It’s a lot less messy.”

  “I was wrong.”

  “No, you weren’t.”

  “Yes, I was. You can do that for a while, but when you least expect it—in my case coming to Hope, to what I thought would be a routine assignment—emotions come flooding back. I thought if I could shut off my feelings and be an observer, I could do my job, move on to the next one and be content. I’m not anymore.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because Hope has a way of insinuating itself into a person’s life—at least mine. These past few days, I discovered I can’t walk away and not leave part of myself here. I’ve come to care for the people of Hope but especially for you.”

  Maggie dropped her arms from around her legs and angled toward him. “Me? What are you saying?”

  “I’m telling you, Maggie Sommerfield, that I don’t want to leave. You’ve made it clear you won’t leave Hope, and you know what? I understand why. I want to stay because of you.”

  He would regret it later and blame her. She wouldn’t be responsible for that. “No, you can’t stay. I won’t let you. You need to do what you do best. I saw recently how much you help others. I think that’s because you know what it’s like to lose someone in a disaster. You’ve been through it. You can identify with us.”

  “Others can, too. The people who work for Christian Assistance Coalition are great. They know what they’re doing. But there are people who need me here.” He brushed his fingers down her jaw. “Didn’t you tell me once I should think of opening a practice here on the coast?”

  “Yes, but I was wrong.” Her panic mushroomed. Her father had forced her mother to do something she didn’t want to do and look what happened to that. “No, you should leave. We’re going to be fine. The hurricane is going toward the northern Mexican coast where it will do minimum damage. It’s even losing steam, slowing down.”

  “What are you really afraid of?”

  “I won’t have you blame me for you doing something you didn’t really want to do. Hannah will be fine. We’re becoming good friends, so you won’t need to worry about her. You know I’m a woman of my word. So, there’s no real reason you should stay.”

  “Yes, there is.”

  “What?”

  “You. I love you.”

  “But—”

  He cupped his hand behind her neck and tugged her toward him. He settled his mouth on hers while wrapping his arms around her and pressing her against him. She wanted to resist but couldn’t. She embraced him and thought for a few seconds she would relish his lips on hers, then she would end it. Go on with her life.

  But seconds evolved into a minute, and the kiss deepened, pulling to the surface all the needs she had suppressed since Robbie had left her. Her emotions poured into her response to him. She couldn’t hide her feelings for him any longer.

  “I love you, Cody, but I want you to be happy doing what you need to do.”

  He leaned back, framing her face. A blue fire smoldered in his eyes. “I am. All I wanted to do was help others, but I got locked into the same pattern I’d been doing my whole life. I thought God wanted me to travel from disaster to disaster doing what I could, but that was my guilt speaking. I thought if I did, it would make up for my mother dying in the tornado bec
ause of me. Until lately, I haven’t been able to forgive myself for doing something childish when I was a child. Now I realize we can’t control certain circumstances. When things happen beyond our control, we need to acknowledge that, learn from it, not dump guilt on ourselves.”

  She clasped his hands, the warmth of his palms searing his mark on her. Forever.

  “I won’t abandon you, Maggie. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to have a family. I want to enjoy being with my nephews and sister. And if I can help people in this area along the way, then I’ll be blessed.”

  Her love swelled into her throat, tearing her eyes. She swallowed several times before she managed to say, “That’s the most beautiful thing a person has said to me.”

  His mouth stretched into a smile. “Good. Because you’ll hear it a lot. I’ve held back my emotions for so long. Now all I want to do is pour them out.”

  She traced his lips. “I’m thinking it might take you a while to get use to expressing your feelings, but I’m patient.”

  The dim light of dusk blanketed the beach. Cody slung his arm around her and plastered her against his side. “This is one of the things I enjoy about Hope. The beach at sunrise and sunset.”

  She cushioned her head on his shoulder. “I know Brady will be happy you’re staying. Ruth and Uncle Keith, too.”

  “Speaking of Keith, what are you going to do about your father? Keith has a point. You have to deal with him and the situation. As I said, avoiding it won’t work in the end.”

  “I know what I have to do.”

  “Forgive him?”

  “Yes. If I want to be free, I have to. Carrying this anger around inside me is only harming me in the long run. I’m not going to keep doing it.”

  “What if he moves back here? Wants to be a part of your life? Brady’s?”

  “I’ll deal with that when it happens. Mom wasn’t an easy person to live with. But he loved her.”