The Courage to Dream Read online

  She went into the living room and sat on the couch to wait for Amy’s return. They had to talk. But as Rachel waited, her temples throbbed with a headache. She couldn’t stay in Magnolia Blossom, not even for Amy.

  * * *

  A persistent ringing gnawed at Rachel’s dreamless sleep. All of a sudden her mind cleared, and she bolted up on the couch, snatching up the phone. “Hello.”

  “Rachel, this is Michael.”

  Her hand tightened about the receiver as she glanced at the clock on the mantel. Twelve-sixteen. “What’s wrong?” The pounding of her pulse thundered in her ears as she tried to calm the racing of her heart.

  “Shaun’s here with Garrett.”

  “What?” She rubbed her hand down her face to try to clear her groggy mind.

  “On my way to bed I passed Garrett’s door and heard voices. Shaun was with him.”

  “I’ll be over in a few minutes.”

  “Rachel, let Shaun stay till morning. Whatever you have to say to him can wait till then. They’ve both finally gone to sleep.”

  “I’m coming. He disobeyed me.” Without waiting for Michael to say anything else, Rachel slammed down the receiver, berating herself for falling asleep when she should have been alert. Maybe then Shaun wouldn’t have sneaked out of the house.

  She snatched her purse and started to leave when she remembered Amy. She quickly checked to see if her younger sister was home yet. When she didn’t find Amy anywhere in the house, she made a mental note to get Shaun then go looking for her sister.

  As Rachel hurried to her car, her thoughts churned with worry. What did Shaun think he was going to accomplish by running to Garrett’s? Why couldn’t he accept his punishment? Where was Amy at this hour?

  When Rachel pulled into the lane that led to Michael’s house, she pressed her foot down on the brake. The palms of her hands were sweaty as she stared at the two-story antebellum house ahead. She knew she couldn’t barge into Michael’s home and start yelling at Shaun, even though that was her first impulse.

  Slowly she eased her foot off the brake, and the car crept forward. She couldn’t let Shaun think he could do what he pleased. She could remember wishing her mother or father had set limits for her. Instead, they had allowed her to go anywhere she wanted with little supervision. She had often spent hours away from their temporary base, playing in the jungle or on a beach, usually alone. Her parents hadn’t cared enough to ask where she’d been when she’d returned to the campsite. Rachel wasn’t going to make that mistake with Amy and Shaun. They needed limits.

  When she parked the car in front of Michael’s house, the door swung open to reveal him standing in the entrance. “Come in.” He stepped aside for her to enter.

  She started to demand to see Shaun, but the expression on Michael’s face stopped her. The air pulsated with his anger as they stared at each other.

  “Where’s Shaun?” Rachel finally asked, scanning the foyer, alarmed at how easily he could evoke strong emotions in her.

  “Asleep.”

  “Then I’ll get him.” She turned toward the staircase, aware that she had no idea where Garrett’s bedroom was, but nothing would be accomplished staying and dealing with Michael. She still needed to handle her siblings.

  As she placed her foot on the first step, Michael grabbed her arm and swung her around. “We’re going to talk first.”

  He dragged her toward the den and shoved her into a chair by the fireplace. Rachel couldn’t believe his Neanderthal attitude. “I have nothing to say to you.”

  “Then listen, really listen for a change.”

  She began to rise, but when he put both hands on the arms of her chair and leaned toward her, she sank into the cushion. She felt trapped, surrounded by him. She closed her eyes, wishing she could block his image from her memory; she couldn’t. She sensed his gaze drilling into her face and slowly opened her eyes, trying to remain in control.

  “The only parent Shaun has really known was Flora. With her death his life has changed drastically. He doesn’t understand your coming in and setting down all these rules he’s not used to.”

  “So you think I should let him do anything he wants?” She allowed her rising anger to fight Michael’s effect on her.

  “No, but move slowly with him. Give him time to adjust to you.”

  “In the meantime he runs around town wild, going where he wants, coming in when he wants.” Rachel shook her head. “A child needs rules to follow.”

  “Reasonable ones.”

  “Coming in by dark is reasonable.”

  “Maybe in New York City, but in Magnolia Blossom that’s when all the kids his age play hide-and-seek in the park. Shaun’s always been a part of that. The kids aren’t doing anything wrong. They’re having fun. It sure beats them sitting around watching TV.”

  “When we talked about his curfew, he never said anything about playing hide-and-seek in the park with the other kids. All he said to me was that he was going out.” Michael’s clean male scent accosted her, and she wished he would move away. She didn’t want him so close, producing strange sensations inside her.

  Stepping back, Michael directed the full censure of his gaze at her. “Sit down with Shaun. Talk to him. Tell him what you expect of him in concise, concrete terms.”

  “What in the world do you think I’ve been trying to do with both Amy and Shaun—tap-dance?” She stood with both hands planted on her waist, her anger escalating as quickly as the temperature. “It’s kind of hard to talk to a person when all you see is his back as he’s leaving the room.”

  “Talk to or at?”

  “Talking is talking!” Her voice rose several levels. Her head began to throb again. “I ask a question, I expect a straight answer. I say something, I expect to hear something back, not a door slamming.”

  “Talking to a person is more than you saying words. It’s also listening to him when he’s talking and letting him know you’ve listened, maybe by paraphrasing what he’s said.”

  “I know how to carry on a conversation.”

  “I’m sure you do with an adult, but…”

  Rachel hated to admit she had the same doubts, but she was an intelligent woman who loved her sister and brother. Somehow she would work everything out with them.

  “Will you please get Shaun for me?” She met his dark gaze with quiet dignity.

  His mouth thinned into a slash. “Rachel, why is it so hard for you to accept help from another person?” He grasped her arms. “Believe it or not, I want this to work with you, Shaun and Amy. I care for those two.”

  All Rachel could focus on was his closeness. She wouldn’t be drawn into his world again!

  “Was that help you were offering me? Strange, that’s not the way I heard it.” Her gaze lowered to his hands still clasping her. “Please let me go.”

  He released her. His look flattened into a neutral expression as he pivoted and strode toward the stairs without another word.

  Rachel held herself taut until Michael disappeared up the stairs. But once he was gone, the trembling started in her hands and spread like a brushfire through her. She hugged her arms to her, rubbing her hands up and down to warm her chilled body.

  Rachel had little time to compose herself before Michael appeared with Shaun behind him. Shaun’s pout rivaled Amy’s as he came to stand in front of Rachel.

  “How did you think you’d get away with this?” she asked in a tightly controlled voice.

  “What did you expect me to do?” Shaun’s belligerent eyes became slits as they locked with Rachel’s.

  “I expected more of you than this.”

  “Well, you’re not my mother. I’m not doing what you say.” He straightened as though ready to fight for what he had declared.

  “No, I’m not your mother, but I’m the one taking care of you, and you’ll do as I say whether you like it or not. Understand?”

  “No, I’ll never mind you!”

  “I guess you don’t think being grounded for a we
ek is long enough.”

  “I hate you!” Shaun whirled and ran from the room.

  Stunned by the violence in Shaun’s last look, Rachel was immobile until she heard the front door slam shut. She started toward it.

  “I know you’re angry at Shaun right now.”

  She spun as fast as Shaun had seconds before. “Are you going to tell me I shouldn’t be?”

  “No, everyone has a right to their feelings—”

  “Oh, thank you for that.” She cut in.

  “But I hope you’ll think about postponing any further discussion concerning the night’s escapade till tomorrow. Give yourself a chance to calm down. As you can see, Shaun needs it, too.” One corner of Michael’s mouth quirked upward. “Heaven knows, I learned that the hard way. I’ve said things to Garrett that I’ve regretted after I had time to think things through.”

  His half smile affected her senses. For a few seconds she felt as if they had something in common. A strong urge to seek comfort in his arms swamped her. It took all her willpower to stay where she was. She had agreed to be her sister’s and brother’s guardian and suddenly she realized how ill-equipped she was for that role. Would it be so difficult to ask for help?

  “Let me talk to Shaun,” Michael said as he walked past her, then stopped.

  For an instant Rachel saw regret in his eyes. She blinked, trying to understand the look he was giving her, but as quickly as it appeared it vanished. He continued toward the front door, leaving Rachel alone to gather her composure.

  Her life was not in Magnolia Blossom. It was that simple and that complicated. Even if she didn’t get the backing for her restaurant, she had every intention of going to New York at the end of the summer. She would give her sister and brother time to adjust to her as their guardian, then close up the house here. She had been crazy to consider staying in this small town where everyone knew everyone.

  When she went out, she saw Michael talking to Shaun near her car. Their murmuring voices drifted to her on the jasmine-scented air, but she couldn’t make out what they were saying.

  As Rachel approached the pair, Shaun looked at her, hostility still apparent in his expression. He mumbled something to Michael, then rounded the front of the car to climb in on the passenger’s side.

  Rachel faced Michael, uncertain what to say or do. Her inadequacies concerning Shaun filled her with fear. She didn’t want to fail with Shaun or Amy. She didn’t want them to grow up feeling as she had, unloved, unwanted, frightened to get close to anyone.

  “Rachel, just as adults say things they don’t mean, so can kids when they are angry or scared. Please give both of you some time to cool off before you decide what you’re going to do about tonight. Find out why he stayed out.”

  “Isn’t that obvious? He wanted to defy me.”

  “I’d rather his reason come from him.”

  An overwhelming desire to be held by Michael inundated her. If only she could drop her defenses for a while. Because he was standing in front of her waiting for her to say something, she murmured, “I’d better go,” but she didn’t move toward her car door.

  She stared into Michael’s face, illuminated by the light from the veranda. Lifting her hand slowly, she touched the cleft in his chin.

  Clasping her hand, he stilled the movement.

  “It’s late. I really should go.”

  “Uh-huh.” He bent his head toward hers.

  CHAPTER THREE

  The blare of the car horn parted them instantly. Rachel jerked away from Michael. She quickly opened the door, murmuring goodbye, a flush heating her cheeks. Safely in the car with her sanity restored, she was thankful that Shaun had sounded the horn.

  On the ride to the house silence dominated the confines of the car. Rachel thought about what Michael had said about waiting to talk to Shaun. Her first impulse was to get it over with and move on, but maybe Michael knew what he was talking about. He had been a father for the past seven years.

  Rachel entered the house and tossed her purse on the table in the entryway. “We’ll talk about this in the morning after we’ve both gotten a good night’s sleep.” She slanted a look toward Shaun, who had his arms folded over his chest and a frown on his face.

  “Why don’t you just get it over with now? You’re gonna ground me anyway.”

  “Frankly, Shaun, I don’t know what I’m going to do until I’ve had time to cool off and listen to your side.”

  When a puzzled look replaced the anger in Shaun’s expression, Rachel knew Michael was right about waiting. For the first time, she felt she had a chance with Shaun.

  As Rachel watched her younger brother walk toward his bedroom, she caught sight of Amy’s door. She started for her sister’s bedroom but stopped when she heard a car pull into the driveway. Rachel stood in the entry hall, trying to remain calm as Amy let herself into the house.

  All her good intentions fled when Rachel saw Amy’s defiant look. “It’s almost two in the morning. Where have you been?”

  “Around.” Amy began to walk past Rachel.

  Rachel grabbed her arm to stop her. “I won’t have you going out at night without telling me where you’re going.”

  Amy shook loose. “I’m not Shaun. I’ll be seventeen in a few weeks and can do what I want.”

  “When you’re on your own, you can do what you want. Until then you live by my rules.”

  “And what if I don’t?”

  “I want the keys to Aunt Flora’s car.” Rachel held out her hand.

  For a tension-fraught moment Amy stared at Rachel before shoving the keys into her hand.

  “You’ll get these back when you’re willing to follow a few simple rules. I want to know where you’re going. You’ll be in this house by twelve. I’m responsible for you and Shaun now.”

  “I didn’t ask you to be. I can take care of myself.” Fury filled Amy’s eyes. “Why don’t you leave us alone like everyone else has?”

  Before Rachel could reply, Amy whirled, ran to her bedroom and shut the door. Rachel stood for a few seconds, shocked by her sister’s words, spoken in anger but suffused with pain.

  The sound of Amy locking her door propelled Rachel forward. She knocked on her sister’s bedroom door. “Amy, we need to talk. Please let me in.”

  For the longest moment Amy said nothing, then finally she shouted, “I want to be left alone. I don’t need you or anyone else.”

  How many times had she said those very words? Leaning against the wall, Rachel trembled at the intensity of emotions coursing through her. Listening to Amy, Rachel felt as if she had traveled back in time and was reliving the pain of being left in Magnolia Blossom by her parents.

  * * *

  Michael stared at the large white sign that proclaimed June eighth Founders Day in Magnolia Blossom. It had been over a week since he’d talked to Rachel, but in that time he hadn’t been able to get her out of his mind. Lord, why did she have to come back to Magnolia Blossom? Everything had been all right as long as he thought he’d never see her again. He didn’t want her in his life, even temporarily. He didn’t need that kind of reminder of what could have been.

  Michael searched the field where the townspeople were setting up the tables for the annual picnic and found his son talking with a friend. Garrett looked at him and waved. The heaviness in Michael’s chest increased when he remembered the phone call he’d received. His ex-wife had walked out on him and Garrett years before, declaring she wasn’t ready to be a mother, that she needed to pull her life together—without them. Now she wanted to share custody of their son after all these years. He felt the edges of his life coming apart.

  Heavenly Father, give me the strength to deal with this new problem. I’ve been there for my son from the beginning. Give me the knowledge to follow Your path in all things.

  Garrett raced up to Michael, coming to an abrupt stop inches in front of him. “Dad, have you seen Shaun? We’re supposed to practice for the game.”

  “No. They haven’t arrived ye
t.”

  “Are ya sure?”

  “Yes.” Because I’ve been looking for Rachel ever since I came.

  “We’re gonna beat the pants off you grown-ups today.”

  “Wanna make a little bet on that?”

  “Yeah. I don’t have to do the dishes for a week if y’all lose.”

  “And when you lose, you have to keep your room clean for a week. Nothing shoved under the bed. Deal?”

  Grinning, Garrett shook his father’s hand. Perplexed, Michael frowned as he watched his son join a group of children and head for the river. He had the feeling Garrett knew something concerning the annual softball game between the kids and the grown-ups, something that swung the odds in the kids’ favor.

  “I need your help,” Helen said, scurrying to Michael. “Max is sick and won’t be able to coach our team. Not only is he the best coach we’ve had but our best player, too.”

  Michael chuckled. So that was it. Garrett knew about Max because Max’s son hung out with Garrett and Shaun. “What do you want me to do?” He had a clean room at stake and had no wish to lose the bet with his son.

  “Will you be the coach?”

  All except that. “I don’t think—”

  “C’mon, Michael.”

  “Why don’t you do it?”

  “Remember three years ago when I did? Afterward, the town council banned me from ever filling that position again.”

  “Oh,” Michael murmured, recalling the free-for-all during the fourth inning between Helen and one of the base runners who didn’t follow the right signal. “If I accept, will I get combat pay?”

  “I’ll give you one of my pecan pies to take home.”

  “Two.”

  “Two it is.” Helen lowered her voice and leaned closer. “I do have a few tidbits for you.” She began to tell Michael where to put everyone on the team, what the batting order should be and what each player’s strengths and weaknesses were.

  After ten minutes of listening to Helen, Michael laughed. “Helen, isn’t this game for fun?”