Tidings of Joy Read online

  While she put the food on the table, Chance took the items and shelved them, each movement economical. The short sleeves of his black cotton shirt didn’t hide the fact the man had well-defined muscles. This prodded the thought she should do something for exercise other than walking to and from the van.

  He froze in midmotion. Her gaze lifted to his, and she saw a question in his eyes as he noted her interest. Heat scorched her cheeks. She didn’t usually stare at anyone, least of all a man. And then to be caught doing it mortified her.

  She averted her head and asked the first thing that popped into her mind, “Did you mean it when you said you’d help me with a budget?”

  “I never say anything unless I mean it.” He continued putting away his food, though thankfully his back was to her now.

  If she’d had to look into his face, she would have fled the apartment. She couldn’t believe she had openly stared at him again and then worse been caught doing it. She really had no experience when it came to men. The only one she had seriously dated had been Tom her senior year in high school. Not long after she’d graduated, they had married. Crystal had been born two years later.

  “I could use your help,” she murmured, surprised at her boldness in asking him for help.

  “I can come over later tonight.” He paused for several heartbeats. “Unless you have other plans.”

  Like a date, she thought, then nearly laughed out loud. There were some people in town who still thought she might have known about what Tom had been doing after Crystal’s accident. If it weren’t for her church and circle of friends, she would have left Sweetwater rather than endure their silent accusations that she had known Tom had been setting fire to all those barns. She’d never dreamed that her husband’s rage at Crystal’s accident and her paralysis would manifest itself that way. She’d been so wrapped up in dealing with Crystal’s recovery and her own manic depression she hadn’t seen the signs. Guilt still gnawed at her insides over not being there for Tom when he’d needed her the most. That guilt had plunged her into some dark times once, but she wouldn’t allow it to again.

  “I don’t have any plans except picking Crystal up and then doing the chores that I leave for the weekend.”

  His gaze fixed on her. “I’ll come over around eight then.”

  “That’s fine.” His loneliness, a palpable force, reached out to her and drew her to him.

  She took a step toward Chance, grabbing a can of green beans and thrusting it at him. Her hand trembled as he took it, his fingers brushing against hers. Her breath caught in her throat as his look delved beneath her surface as if he searched for her innermost thoughts.

  He opened his mouth to say something but instead snapped it close, spun around and placed the can on a shelf. “Great, then I’ll see you later.”

  She was being dismissed again, but for some reason she didn’t want to leave just yet. Even though tension vibrated in the air, a strong need to comfort—again she had no idea what or why—swamped her. She curled her hands into tight fists to keep from touching his arm.

  “Listen, if there’s anything—”

  “Thanks for helping me put my groceries up. If you’re gonna pick up Crystal, you’d better get going.” He turned his back to her and opened another cabinet door.

  Tanya backed up several paces, saying, “You’re right. I’d better leave.” She whirled around and hurried from the apartment.

  Out on the landing she paused and stared down at her driveway and the back of her house. She couldn’t shake the feeling that God was pushing her toward Chance Taylor, that he needed a friend, someone to show him the power of the Lord. With quivering hands, she gripped the wooden railing.

  Lord, how can I be Your instrument when my own life is so messed up?

  No answer came to mind, leaving her feeling as though God was saying everyone can help another in need. Is that true? There was only one way to find out. She would be Chance’s friend because she knew what it was like not to have one. She also knew the difference her friends had made in her life. No one should go through life without people to care about him, and for some reason, she sensed Chance was totally alone.

  With a glance at her watch, she noted the time. She had to pick up Crystal in less than five minutes. Rushing down the stairs, she withdrew her keys from her jeans pocket then climbed into the van.

  Ten minutes later she pulled into the parking lot next to the church and jogged toward the back door that led into the classrooms. Usually Crystal was waiting for her by the entrance, but today she wasn’t around. As Tanya headed down the long hallway, she heard voices coming from the last room on the left where the youth group met.

  She started to enter when her daughter’s words halted her.

  “I don’t know what to do about them, Sean.”

  “Ignore them. They aren’t worth your time.”

  “I wish I could.”

  The sob in Crystal’s voice contracted Tanya’s heart. She hurried inside. “Honey, are you all right?”

  With her daughter’s back to her, she couldn’t see Crystal’s face as she answered, “Yeah, sure.”

  “I’m sorry I’m late.” Tanya took a step forward.

  “You aren’t that late. Sean’s been keeping me company.”

  A strange expression flitted across Darcy’s son’s features before he pulled himself together. “Yeah, Mrs. Bolton. Crystal’s been receiving a lot of spam lately on the Internet.”

  If Tanya hadn’t sensed the seriousness of the situation, she would have choked on her laughter. “Spam?”

  Crystal finally swung her wheelchair around. “Yeah, I went to the wrong website by mistake and now I’m getting all kinds of spam.”

  Tanya knew that probably wasn’t what Sean and Crystal had been talking about, but she also knew by the tilt to her daughter’s chin she wouldn’t get it out of her until Crystal was ready to tell her. Her daughter had been keeping a lot of secrets lately. But that didn’t mean Tanya wouldn’t do some more checking around. When she had talked with Zoey and Beth earlier about this, they hadn’t known what was going on but said they would look into it for her. “I guess I can take a look at it, but I don’t know much about computers.”

  Sean shot to his feet. “That’s okay. I’ll come over tomorrow after church and see what I can do.”

  “That’s great. See, Crystal, how easy the problem can be fixed? From what Darcy says, Sean can do anything with a computer.”

  “Yeah, Mom,” her daughter mumbled with her head down, her hands twisting together in her lap. “This may not be that easy to take care of.”

  * * *

  The sound of his feet pounding against the pavement lured him into a rhythmic trance as Chance ran down Berryhill Road, heading toward his temporary home. Sweat drenched his white T-shirt and face. He almost went past the one-story older house with a detached garage and apartment above it. He jogged a few yards beyond, slowed and circled back around.

  Freedom, as he hadn’t experienced in years, called to him. He wanted to keep going, but his body screamed with exhaustion, not used to this form of exercise—not for the two years he’d spent incarcerated.

  He came to a stop at the end of the driveway and bent over, drawing in lungfuls of rich oxygen, the air scented with the smells of the clean outdoors, nothing stale and musty about it. The rich colors that surrounded him no longer threw him.

  He had dreamed for so long about running with the wind cooling his skin and the sun beating down to warm his chilled body that he could hardly believe he was finally doing it. He’d taken so much for granted before—not anymore, not ever again. He cherished each fresh breath of freedom, each precious day he could walk out of a place unhindered, each time he could close his eyes and not worry about whether he would wake up the next morning or not. His life began the day he’d walked out of prison
.

  Was his new job thrusting him back into a world he didn’t want to be in? He needed a job and had been glad for a reference from Samuel, but the more he thought about the duties Nick wanted his assistant to do the more he felt as though he was being thrust back into the corporate life he’d wanted to avoid, that very life that had required hours and hours of overtime. If he had been with his wife and daughter when they had come home to find a stranger in their house, then maybe they would be alive today.

  Still he needed the job. He would just have to take it one day at a time and not let his job consume his whole life. Not ever again.

  With his heartbeat slowing, he strode toward the stairs that led to his apartment. A quick look toward the left halted his progress. Crystal sat on the deck, drawing something on a pad. Suddenly she threw down her pencil, tore off the sheet and crunched it into a ball. She tossed it into the yard where several other similar papers lay crumpled.

  The frustration and anger that marked the teenager’s face drew him toward her. If his daughter were alive, he would want to be there for her. That was impossible, of course, but he could help Tom’s daughter.

  “Nothing working out?” Chance gestured toward the wadded-up papers in the grass.

  Crystal took the pencil her service dog had retrieved for her and looked up at him. “What’s the use? I’m not any good anyway.”

  He descended the two steps to the yard and smoothed out one of the sheets. He whistled. “If this isn’t good, then I hate to think what you consider bad. Who is this?” He came back to sit in the lounge chair next to her.

  “Just a guy. No one important.”

  “Are all those attempts of him?”

  Crystal nodded, peering away.

  “Do you always waste your time drawing someone who isn’t important to you?”

  She sighed, then shook her head. “He doesn’t know I’m alive.”

  The anguish that wrenched her voice did the same to him. He cleared his throat and asked, “How do you know?”

  “I just do. I might as well be dead for all he cares.”

  The pain her words produced stole his breath. “I’m sorry. I…” Words failed him.

  CHAPTER THREE

  For a brief moment Chance thought of his daughter. He remembered Haley making a comment a few days before she’d been killed about how she would just die if she didn’t get to go to a friend’s party. Haley never made it to the birthday party. He turned away, aware that Crystal had clasped his arm while her service dog licked his hand.

  “Are you okay, Chance?”

  The alarm in her voice swung his gaze to Crystal. He forced a grin that was an effort to maintain. “I’m fine. I had a daughter. She would have been near your age if she’d lived.” He couldn’t believe he’d said that out loud. He didn’t talk about Haley—he couldn’t without—

  “Oh, I’m so sorry. What happened?”

  Gone were Crystal’s problems as she leaned toward him, wanting to offer comfort. Most of the time he could handle it. Coming to Sweetwater had for some reason revived all those memories. Probably because Crystal was so close in age to Haley. There was only a year between them.

  “She was killed.” He scooted forward in the chair. “But I don’t want to talk about me. Tell me about this guy you have a crush on.”

  Crystal started to say something but decided not to. Instead, she shrugged. “There’s nothing to say. He’s popular. I’m not.” She put her hand on her service dog, stroking her Lab’s black fur. “He’s on the basketball team. Even though he’s a freshman, he plays varsity because he’s so good. The season will start in six weeks. I try to go to every game.”

  “You like basketball,” he said, sensing Crystal steering the conversation away from the guy she cared about.

  Her face lit. “Yes. I’ve even tried to play some with Sean. He’s my best friend.”

  “Are you any good?”

  Laughter invaded her features. “Are you kidding? I can’t even hit the backboard now. I use to be able to before the accident. But I can still dribble.”

  “Maybe all you need is practice. I could fix you up a basketball hoop and backboard if you want.”

  “Really?”

  He nodded, her enthusiasm contagious. “If it’s okay with your mom.”

  “What’s okay with me?”

  The screen door banged closed, and Tanya strolled toward him. Her smile of greeting, reaching deep into her eyes, soothed some of the tension knotting his stomach. He came to his feet, facing Tanya, who was only a few inches shorter than his own six-foot-plus height.

  “I offered to put up a basketball hoop for Crystal.”

  Her mahogany eyes grew dull. She ran her hand through her short brown hair, brushing back her wispy bangs. “I don’t want—I appreciate the offer, but I’m sure you have better things to do.”

  He grinned, wanting to tease the smile back into her eyes, needing to lighten the mood. “Nope. I don’t have anything to do except shop for some new clothes between now and Wednesday. So I’m pretty much a man of leisure in need of a project.”

  “Mom?”

  Tanya glanced at her daughter. Eagerness replaced her earlier sadness. For the past three years Tanya had constantly depended on others to make it through. Each day she felt herself growing stronger. And with that, she had determined she would learn to stand on her own two feet. She didn’t want to become any more beholden to Chance Taylor than she was. She’d already regretted asking him to help her with her budget. But how could she turn her daughter down? Basketball and drawing were the two things Crystal loved the most.

  “Fine. But only if you let me help you. And I’m paying for the materials.” Somehow she would come up with the money for the hoop, backboard and wood to secure it to the garage.

  “Good. See you two later.”

  Tanya watched Chance stroll away, his hair damp from exercise, a fine sheen of sweat covering his face. He must have gone for a long run. He’d been gone over an hour. She should do more exercise. I wonder if he would like a running partner, she thought, realizing she’d probably never go jogging unless she did it with someone.

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  Crystal’s voice dragged her from her musings. “You’re welcome. Next time, honey, say something to me first. I could have figured out how to put one up.”

  Her daughter giggled. “This from the woman who until recently didn’t know what a Phillips head screwdriver was?”

  “But I do now. I’m getting quite handy around the house, if I do say so myself.”

  “I didn’t ask him, Mom. He volunteered when we were talking about basketball. Did you know he had a daughter? She died.”

  “Really! That’s horrible.” Tanya peered toward the apartment over her garage, beginning to see why there was such a look of vulnerability about Chance Taylor. Losing a child was the worst thing she could imagine. She remembered when Crystal had first been taken to the hospital almost four years ago. The feeling of devastation had thrown her life into a tailspin that slowly she had managed to right, but not without a lot of heartache along the way.

  “Do you think that’s why he wants to help me out?”

  “Possibly, honey.” Then Tanya grinned. “But more likely because you’re such a sweet child.”

  Crystal screwed up her face into a pout. “I’m not a child anymore, Mom, in case you haven’t noticed.”

  Her daughter’s fervent words wiped the smile from Tanya’s face. “Oh, ba—Crystal, I’ve noticed what a beautiful young lady you’re growing up to be.”

  “Then you’re the only one,” Crystal mumbled and wheeled herself into the house.

  Stunned at the despondency in her daughter’s voice, Tanya quickly followed Crystal inside only to find the door to her room closed with her Do Not Disturb sign
hanging from the knob. She knocked.

  “Go away.”

  “Crystal, we need to talk.”

  “I don’t have anything else to say,” her daughter said right before the sound of loud music blasted through the air.

  Tanya stared at the door, trying to decide whether to ignore her child’s request or wait for another time when she would be more willing to talk. Lord, help me here. What do I do?

  The music grew even louder, silently giving Tanya her answer. Nothing would be accomplished this evening finding out what was at the root of her daughter’s unhappiness.

  * * *

  “I noticed you’ve owned this house for ten years. Why don’t you take out a second mortgage on it?” Chance asked Tanya later that evening.

  “Well…” She didn’t have an answer for him. Sitting at her kitchen table with all her finances spread out before her, she stared at the total figure of her debt, in large black numbers on the paper before her. “I didn’t want another bill to pay.”

  “You could use it to pay off some of these bills and consolidate them into one payment. That’ll be easier for you to keep track of rather than these seven different places.” He waved his hand over the pile.

  “That might work.”

  Chance wrote down some numbers. “I think you could comfortably handle this much a month in a payment.”

  “Only as long as I have a tenant for the apartment.”

  He looked up from the paper he was figuring on. “Since I’ve taken a job with Blackburn Industries, I’ll be here for a while.”

  Why had that simple declaration sent her heart racing as though she had just finished running alongside him earlier this afternoon? “It’s gonna be more than a while until I can pay this off.”

  “You can always declare bankruptcy.”

  “No! Never! I’ll pay my debts even if it takes me years.” The memory of her father skipping out on her mother and her when she was a little girl materialized in her mind. The gambling debts he’d left behind had been overwhelming until her mother had nearly collapsed under their weight. But it had been a matter of pride to her mother that she didn’t declare bankruptcy, sometimes the only thing that had kept her going.