What the Heart Knows Page 8

  Jared offered her a smile. “That’s fine since not much would be done tonight.”

  Kathleen reached for the mug and clutched its warmth. Slowly she brought it to her lips and drank some of the coffee. “How am I going to get Mark to the hospital? He won’t agree to go. You saw how he was tonight.”

  “Let me come over and help. If we can’t get him to go willingly, then we’ll have to look at other ways.”

  “What did I do wrong, Jared?”

  He placed his hands over hers on the mug and looked her straight in the eye. “Nothing. We can’t control what happens to others. All we can do is be there for them and get them the help they need.”

  “Is that what you did for your wife? Is that how you handled her drinking problem?” Kathleen asked, desperate for any assistance in dealing with what was happening to her son.

  Jared yanked back, his hands falling into his lap. He hung his head, staring at his third finger on his left hand. He massaged the place where his wedding ring would have been. “I tried, but I failed her.”

  The whispered words sent an icy bolt straight through her heart. She had opened an old wound and hadn’t even known it. “I didn’t mean—”

  He jerked his head up. “I can help Mark, Kathleen. We’ll get him the help he needs.” Each word he spoke was clearly and slowly pronounced as though he was making a vow to her.

  In the midst of all the swirling emotions between them Kathleen wondered if Mark and his troubles were a substitute for his wife and her drinking. Even in her distress Kathleen knew in the end that could be a problem.

  Jared rose. “I’d better leave now. Get some sleep. I’ll be back first thing tomorrow morning. Say about seven.”

  “Seven sounds fine. I doubt I’ll get much sleep.”

  “You need your rest. You may have a long road ahead of you and you don’t want to get sick yourself.”

  He made his way into the entry hall. Pivoting, he took her hands within his, a connection that felt so right to Kathleen.

  “Call me if you need to talk or need anything else. I’m here for you.” He started for the door and stopped. “Kathleen, at times like this I turn to the Bible. Seeking the word of God is always a comfort to me when I don’t think I can go ahead another day.”

  He opened the door and disappeared before Kathleen had time to react to the anguish she heard in his voice. She didn’t know a lot about his wife’s problem, but Kathleen knew it had profoundly affected Jared, creating a pain in him that she wasn’t sure he realized the depth of.

  She touched the closed door as though that gesture would ease some of Jared’s agony as he had tried to ease hers. Tears flooded her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She pressed against the cool wood, squeezing her eyes shut.

  “Got to keep busy,” she muttered in the silence.

  With that in mind she headed for the kitchen where she cleaned up the two mugs and a few dishes left in the sink from earlier. After putting them in the dishwasher, she switched it on, then left. Walking through the house, she checked to make sure the windows were closed and locked, as well as the doors. Anything to keep her occupied. After her brief tour, she came back to the living room and stood in the middle, slowly making a full circle as though not sure what to do next.

  She spied the family Bible on the coffee table where it had always been placed in her house in Shreveport. She remembered Jared’s parting advice and fingered the leather-bound book with its gold lettering. John had bought this for them when Mark had been born. His birth date was inscribed inside it.

  Kathleen dug her teeth into her lower lip to keep her emotions in check. She couldn’t fall apart. Too much left to do. Tomorrow would be a long, long day, even if her son went willingly to the hospital. If he didn’t—she didn’t want to think of that happening.

  She sank onto the navy-and-maroon plaid couch and laid her hand on top of the Bible. The warmth beneath her palm comforted her, prodding her to open its pages and seek answers. God had let her down with John. She’d begged him to spare her husband and her plea had gone unanswered. She snatched her hand away and bolted to her feet. There were no solutions in those pages for her.

  Glancing at the stairs, she thought she might as well try and get some rest. At least lie down and close her eyes. She made her way toward her bedroom, stopped outside Mark’s and pushed the door open, needing to see her son peacefully asleep again.

  The bed and room were empty.

  Chapter Six

  Jared walked around his empty house, listening to the quiet that rarely occurred in the Matthews household. He couldn’t sleep; he couldn’t even sit for long. Restless energy assailed him, prodding him to keep moving. Tonight he’d finally admitted to another that he’d failed his wife. He’d always known in his heart he had, but this was the first time he’d said it out loud.

  He should have gone back to Laura and Brad’s and picked up the children. Then at least he wouldn’t be so alone. But he needed to be back at Kathleen’s early and he hadn’t wanted to disturb Hannah and Terry since they had both already fallen asleep, according to Laura, when he’d called.

  Jared went out on the back patio and stared up at the crystal clear sky with thousands of stars twinkling. He would find the answers to Mark’s problem. He had to. Maybe then he wouldn’t be so torn up inside over Alice and his failure to help her in her time of need. Just like his younger brother all those years ago. The helplessness he’d experienced trying to breathe life into Greg after pulling him from the lake assailed Jared. He hadn’t known how to revive him and when helped had finally arrived, it had been too late for his little brother.

  Thinking of his advice to Kathleen, he closed his eyes and murmured, “Heavenly Father, please give me the strength and knowledge to help Kathleen and Mark. Help me to find out what is wrong with Mark and to support Kathleen through this.”

  When he opened his eyes to the black sky a few minutes later, the restlessness in him abated. He wasn’t alone. God was with him and would be there to help when the time came. Kathleen needed a friend and he would be there for her. He would show her the power of God’s healing and in turn give her the means to support herself.

  The ringing of the phone beckoned him inside. He hurried to it and picked it up on the fifth ring. “Dr. Matthews.”

  “Jared, Mark’s gone.”

  Kathleen’s panic came through the wires loud and clear. He went rigid, automatically tensing every muscle as though he were frozen. “What happened?”

  “I went to check on him before I tried to get some rest. He’s not in his bedroom. I’ve searched the house and yard. He’s not here.”

  “Have you called the police?”

  “Yes. They are on their way, but I’m not sure there’s much they can do. He hasn’t been gone long and there is no sign of foul play.”

  “I’ll be over. We need to stress to them the importance of finding him.”

  Even though his voice sounded calm, he fought his own sense of panic and urgency. After what had happened at Laura and Brad’s this evening, he was afraid of what Mark might do next.

  “I tried to, Jared.”

  “Then we both will try again. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  He hung up and rushed to get his car keys and medical bag in case they found Mark and he needed help immediately. He remembered his prayer to God earlier. He recited it again as he went out to the garage.

  Kathleen thrust open the front door before Jared had a chance to ring the doorbell. Her first impulse was to go into his arms and let him hold her. Maybe then this feeling of her life being out of her control would stop. Even though the urge was strong, she didn’t. She stepped to the side and allowed Jared into her house, her grip on the door the only thing keeping her upright.

  Jared pivoted in the middle of the entry hall to look at her. “Do you know any places that Mark would go in Crystal Springs?”

  She shook her head, her throat tight and dry from the emotions rampaging through her.


  “Does he know anyone besides your family?”

  “No. Not well enough to show up on their doorstep at midnight.”

  “You’ve talked to Laura and your parents?”

  She nodded. “They wanted to come over, but I told them no. I just couldn’t be—” How could she tell him that he was the only one she wanted here? The revelation had stunned her when her sister and parents had offered to come be with her and she had turned them down. She still wasn’t sure what to make of it. She didn’t have the energy to wade through her emotions to discover why Jared had become so important to her in a few short weeks. She was afraid she was becoming dependent on him. That couldn’t continue when Mark was taken care of. But for the moment she needed Jared.

  He held out his hand. “Come on. Let’s go into the kitchen and get some real coffee to keep us awake while we wait for the police.”

  Releasing her tight grip on the door, she closed it, then fitted her hand within his, the link a reminder of the strength Jared exuded. “I don’t think I need anything to keep me awake. But coffee sounds good.” Maybe it would warm the icy chill that held her in its clutches.

  Jared led the way and seated her at the table while he went about preparing the coffee as though he lived in her house and knew where everything was. Watching him in her kitchen making something as ordinary as a pot of coffee soothed her tattered nerves. His self-assurance radiated from him and gave her hope.

  When he came over to the table and sat next to her, she took a deep breath of the coffee-scented air and said, “I think Mark heard us talking about him going to the hospital.”

  “Why do you say that? He was upstairs. We were down here.”

  “I didn’t realize he could hear what was going on in the kitchen from his room. The air-conditioning vent carries noises from this room to his. I heard the dishwasher going when I was checking out his bedroom earlier tonight.”

  “So you think he’s run away, not just gone for a short time like the other evening?”

  “Yes, he took his backpack and some money with him. He’s gone. I know it in here.” She pressed her hand over her heart, which increased its beat beneath her palm as she thought of the implications of what she’d said. “In Shreveport he didn’t even take that when he ran away for the day.” Her throat constricted around each word she spoke, making her voice weak and raspy. “I may never see him again, Jared.”

  He took her hands within his and held them tightly between them. “You will. If he’s here in Crystal Springs, we’ll find him.”

  “What if he isn’t?”

  “We’ll find him,” Jared stressed again in a vehement tone.

  The sound of the doorbell cut through the tension-laden air. “That must be the police.” She started to rise.

  Jared surged to his feet and placed his hand on her shoulder, forcing her back onto the seat. “I’ll answer it and bring them in here.”

  While he was gone, Kathleen noticed the coffee had stopped dripping, but she didn’t have the energy to get up and pour them a cup. She stared at the glass pot with the dark brew as though it had all the answers to her problems. But nothing came to mind except more questions. What had she done wrong? Why was God letting this happen to her son?

  When the door to the kitchen swished open, she peered toward Jared and the policeman who entered. The man looked no more than twenty-two. So young to find the most important person in her life. Not much older than her son, and yet she would rely on him to search for Mark.

  “Would you like some coffee, Ted?” Jared asked, walking to the counter and getting some mugs down.

  “That would be nice. My baby daughter has been keeping my wife and me up lately.”

  Jared motioned for the officer to have a seat at the table. Then Jared brought the mugs to them and set them down in front of each person. “I bet she’s teething.”

  “Yes, sir. One in and another on its way.”

  Kathleen cleared her throat. “Officer, my son is missing. What are you going to do about it?” The sharp bite to her words made her regret her question the second she said it. The policeman wasn’t at fault for her son’s disappearance—she was.

  “Sorry.” Ted smiled sheepishly and took out a pad and pen. “When did you discover your son was gone?”

  “About an hour ago.”

  Ted looked up from writing. “Only an hour?”

  “Yes, but I know he’s run away. His backpack is gone. So is the money he was saving.” She filled him in on Mark’s strange behavior.

  “May I see his room?” the officer asked when she finished.

  She nodded while the officer slid her son’s photograph in his shirt pocket. Standing on wobbly legs, she clasped the back of the chair to steady herself.

  Jared rose and put his arm around her. “I can show Ted for you,” he whispered into her ear.

  “No, I’m fine.” She moved from the comfort of his touch and plodded up the stairs to Mark’s bedroom, her legs feeling as though she wore ten-pound weights on each one.

  In her son’s room the officer picked his way through the mess on the floor to the window. He opened it and looked out. “He could have climbed down from here.” He backed away and searched the area.

  When Ted was finished with his inspection, he came to stand in front of Kathleen. “Have you called all his friends and made sure he wasn’t with them?”

  “We just moved here. He doesn’t know very many people, but I did check with the ones I know about.”

  “Where did you move from?”

  “Shreveport.”

  “Could he try to return to Shreveport?”

  Again guilt assailed her. Had she been wrong to move back home? “I don’t know. Tomorrow morning I’ll call everyone I can in Shreveport and let them know Mark is missing.”

  “That might be a good idea. In the meantime, I’ll put an alert out about your son.”

  “Thank you, Ted. I appreciate anything you can do for Mrs. Somers.”

  “Sure, Doc. But there’s not much I can do without any leads to go on. Mrs. Somers, if you can think of anything else, please call me at the station.” Ted reached into his pocket and withdrew a card. “My number is on there.”

  The officer returned to the downstairs entry hall and retrieved his hat from the chair where he had laid it earlier. He shook Jared’s hand and bid Kathleen a good night. She watched Jared close the door on the policeman as though she were observing the scene from afar. She needed to do something to find her son, but what?

  Jared faced her, a few feet separating them. “Ted is a good man. He’ll do what he can.”

  “That’s just it. I’m not sure there’s much the police can do. Runaways disappear all the time.” Her voice caught on the last few words as her throat thickened.

  He took a step toward her, compassion on his face. “And runaways are found, too.”

  “I know, but Mark isn’t acting right. What if he does something crazy?” While watching Jared through the blur of tears, she swallowed several times.

  “Kathleen—” Jared paused, a nerve in his jaw twitching. “Kathleen, we will find him.” He covered the small space between them and drew her into his arms.

  She went gladly into his embrace, seeking the support and warmth he offered. His strong arms about her held her upright while the steady beat of his heart soothed her, its rhythmic pace entrancing her.

  After gathering her composure, she pulled back. “I need to do something now.”

  “What?”

  “I’m going to drive around Crystal Springs tonight. Maybe I’ll get lucky and find Mark before—” She couldn’t finish her sentence. The thought of what could happen to him caused the words to stick in her throat.

  “Okay. But I’m coming with you and I’m driving. I don’t think you should do it alone.”

  She closed her eyes for a few seconds in relief. “Thank you. I was hoping you would volunteer to come.”

  “Look at these sketches, Laura,” Kathleen said, handing her s
ister a pad she’d found hidden in Mark’s bedroom that morning while searching for anything that would give her a hint about where her son had gone. Searches the night before last, yesterday and this morning hadn’t turned up anything—not Mark, not a clue where he was.

  Laura flipped through the sketch pad, her frown intensifying with each picture she saw. “Oh, my, Mark is deeply troubled. I knew something was wrong, but—” She shook her head and gave the pad back to Kathleen.

  Her gaze caught the last sketch her son must have drawn. Mark was in the middle of a forest with bare trees. Hidden behind each trunk was the same dark, menacing figure staring at him. Each shapeless form had one thing that stood out: large black eyes filled with anger, all directed at Mark. Kathleen shivered and dropped the pad on the kitchen table. The thud sounded ominous in the quiet, sending a cascade of chills from the top of her head to the tip of her toes.

  “It’s been almost two days and nothing. What if he’s hurt somewhere or—” Kathleen couldn’t finish the thought. It was unbearable even to think. She pushed it away and focused on what was being done. Thanks to Jared, the police were seriously pursuing her son’s disappearance. She and Jared were going to search again later that day—even though she felt they had already covered every square inch of Crystal Springs and the surrounding area. Her friends in Shreveport hadn’t heard from Mark, which probably meant he hadn’t gone there. If only she knew where her son was.

  Laura covered Kathleen’s hand on the table. “Honey, he will be coming home. He will get the help he needs. The whole church is praying for Mark’s return.”

  “But why is this happening to my son? First he lost his father suddenly and now this—” Kathleen fluttered her hand in the air “—whatever is wrong with him.”

  “Let’s pray for Mark. You’ll feel better.”

  Kathleen shot to her feet. “Feel better? Prayers aren’t going to bring my son home. Prayers aren’t going to make me feel better. Only Mark’s safe return will do that.” She began to pace the kitchen, restlessness attacking her with a relentlessness that urged her to keep moving.